Who Are You? Who Am I?
by Darksorceress24
Summary: The Winter Soldier is conflicted. After his mission to destroy Steve Rogers fails, he decides his new mission is to learn his identity. With some help from a stranger, perhaps he just might regain what was lost so many years ago. Kelly Olson doesn't know what to do when she first meets him. Dealing with him, HYDRA & her growing attraction, will she step up to the challenges b4 her?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Smithsonian Exhibit

Staring at his face on the screen, the winter soldier's eyes scanned the paragraphs describing his rescue from his captors with the help of Captain America right down to his heroics and ultimately a death that never occurred. That man in the stars in stripes costume didn't lie. Looking at the picture he glanced into the screen and saw his own reflection as well. The two of them were one and the same and yet they couldn't be. He'd done nothing but finish each mission for years then sit back in that chair. Darkness until he was needed again. This soldier had no memory of any life before that. Yet strangely he remembered first waking up to the metal being applied to his left arm after encountering "Captain America" the first time. What does it mean? Gritting his teeth and squeezing his fists in his pockets, he released when a younger woman stood next to him.

"Pretty crazy huh?" she asked, smiling slightly before returning her eyes to the screen. "Captain America's best friend and I never even heard of him, 'til now that is. I can't imagine what it'd be like to lose your best friend. Could you?"

Kelly Olson looked towards the strange man standing there but his lips stayed straight and no sound came. He didn't even glance her way or at least she didn't think so. She could barely see them beneath the baseball cap he wore. Looking back at the screen she sighed, reading the rest of the blurb. She didn't know why she just felt the urge to go over to him. That was the next screen in the exhibit anyway and maybe it was because he seemed so mysterious with the scruff on his face, baseball cap and denim jacket. Or maybe she'd been alone too long and he's the first guy who really caught her interest since Jacob. Glancing at him again, she looked up and down. He really is attractive. Though I think a smile might kill him, then me. Who knows if it'd be from pure shock of a reaction or the sheer beauty of the pearly whites that have to be hiding behind those lips? Those totally kissable lips... What the hell am I talking about? Get it together Kelly, geeze. You act like you've never found a guy attractive before.

In any case, something pulled her towards him but Kelly didn't know what. He watched the screen so strangely, as if he was trying to do more than read about the James "Bucky" Barnes. She tried not to stare but she found him to be an interesting puzzle. Still, he stood there, hand in pockets and ignored her. This guy clearly didn't want to talk so she sighed and started to walk away.

Stopping after a few steps, Kelly paused. He's really quiet and we're in the Smithsonian in Washington D.C. I can't see anything under his jacket other than his shirt and he's kept both hands in his pockets this entire time. Plus, he barely talks. He doesn't look nervous or anything but what if he's just biding his time? What if he's some crazy assassin dude with a gun in his pocket? Turning to face him, he still stood there, staring at the screen. Biting her lip, she debated. Maybe I've watched too much Law and Order and he's just a normal guy but what if he's not? What if I could save him or anyone else from whatever he might do?

Once he saw her leave in his peripherals, the winter soldier studied the screen more. What information it gave could not sustain him. He needed to know more. Another memory flashed of his fall from the train. The last thing he saw was Captain America yelling his name as he fell. He remembered preparing to hit, readying himself for death. But he didn't die. Why? He knew he shouldn't bother with these questions and in the back of his head he heard the order to return to his superiors loud and clear. Once he returned however, he knew he wouldn't be back. Like a good operative, the winter soldier would lean back in the chair and feel the sharp pulse through his brain, wiping any memory he had. Stepping backwards, he almost collided head on with the same young woman from before. She put her hands up and said, "Sorry! I didn't mean to do that."

Kelly's cheeks reddened. You idiot you're not supposed to run into him. Now he's going to think you're a total blonde and not just because your hair is. On the plus side maybe he'll say something. Looking up, she swallowed, barely able to keep her mouth shut in awe. Those blue eyes held her captive with one glance. She inhaled sharply as his gaze trailed upward from the tips of her toes before returning to her eyes. God stare much? Not like I'm a total loss but I'm only 5'4" and I could probably hit the gym more than I do. His eyes locked on hers, unflinching and cold, definitely not in the finding her attractive category. Swallowing she said, "I'm sorry again. I just—well you looked kind of, I don't know, worried or something. I just wanted to make sure you're okay. Are you?"

Their eyes stayed on each others. No answer. Kelly nodded and turned around, walking away. This time the soldier's eyes followed her completely. Even in civilian clothes, people kept their distance from him. Kids, adults, anyone—it didn't matter. One glance could send anyone scurrying, but not her. That alone begged the question, why? He thought a moment then followed, knowing full well she'd never see him if she turned around.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Metro Stop

Kelly sighed as she walked towards the metro stop. What a strange guy. Doesn't talk and looks like he hates the world. Can't say I blame him some days. Sighing, she put her hands in her pockets as she leaned against the wail, waiting for the train. Why can't I get him out of my head then? It's not like I'll ever see him again. Don't even know if I'd want to after our lack of conversation today. I mean she he was super attractive but still. Lost in her thoughts, Kelly didn't notice she was being watched, let alone from two different sets of eyes. There weren't too many people waiting for the train though that's normal for the train she needed to take home.

As the train arrived, Kelly pushed herself from the wall and went inside, hanging onto the railing in the center. A man got on behind her with slightly dirty clothes. Homeless guy, has to be. Poor dude. Maybe I should give him a buck. She moved a little further down in the car, away from the doors to make room for everyone else. A couple and then an older lady with a cane got one before the train's door closed and they got moving.

From the car behind, the winter soldier watched the blonde girl. Every movement from breath to pushing back a strand of hair he mentally documented. He also saw that she was being trailed by more than just him. Why am I watching her? I need to return to base. His mind screamed the orders at him yet he couldn't stop. There was something about her different from everyone else. If she was a new threat, he needed to neutralize her right away.

Kelly anxiously waited for her stop. She felt eyes on her. She glanced nonchalantly over and caught the stare of the homeless man. She offered a quick half smile then looked around again. Through her peripherals she noticed his eyes didn't leave her though. Gripping her keys tight, she knew he stop was next. The minute the doors opened Kelly was out of them, walking fast when the hand gripped her should. Pushing her against the wall then turning her around, she was not surprised to see the homeless guy and his toothy grin staring at her. Instinctively she held out the mace on her keychain with the other hand. He pulled her closer, jutting a knife to her side sharply but not piercing.

"Drop it or I'll make a mess of that pretty shirt," the guy smirked.

Tossing her wallet to the ground she said, "Take it and go, asshole."

Running his other hand through her hair, he inhaled then said, "I'm gonna want so much more than just that from you."

Kelly's eyes widened. Rape? Are you fucking kidding me? How the hell can I get out of this? I don't exactly want a fatal wound but— Bam! Suddenly a metal hand gripped her attackers shoulder and yanked him away. Kelly didn't know who was more surprised, her or the would-be rapist. Then she watched as the very guy she thought she'd never see again slammed the guy against the wall and slid the knife into his belly like butter. The guy in the baseball cap only shot her one glance before turning and walking in the opposite direction.

"Wait!" she called out but he didn't turn. Kelly ran and stepped right in front of him. "Thank you. I don't know what to say except thanks. You saved my life."

The denim jacket man said nothing only stepped to the side of her. Again she stepped in front of him. "Look," she said, "I know you're not a big talker but I'm guessing you can listen. Please. Let me do something—anything— to thank you. Cup of coffee? Dinner? I know it's not much but—"

Again he tried to step around her but Kelly grabbed his right shoulder to which he turned and held her by the throat. In the midst of his rescue, she didn't really notice but now, in the clutches of the metal hand, her eyes widened as she saw it extended down into his shirt. She struggled to break his grasp but he lifted her off the ground. Her eyes met his, still cold and unfeeling. "Please," she choked out, "If you're going—to kill—me—do it—quick."

Kelly closed her eyes and waited for the snap. Instead, she suddenly felt his grip loosen and her feet touch the ground once more. Well, that's putting it nicely. Actually he just dropped her and the stinging pain in her ass was there to prove it. Slowly she stood, keeping her back to the wall.

The winter soldier never let someone go. Save for Captain America the other day and now, for some unknown reason, the woman in front of him. But this girl, suddenly he saw a young girl from his past. Smiling at him so long ago, she smiled at him. "Buckyyyyy stop! I'm going to get my dress dirty" the young girl said, running over to an older woman who stood in front of a house. "Now James, be nice to your sister," the woman said before turning to the girl, "Oh Rebecca, you're brother is going to have to protect you from all the young callers who will be coming for you."

Jerking back to the present, he pulled back and let the woman down. He turned away, shoving his hands deep in his pockets again. Rebecca. I had a sister. Or is this some dream? I should return to base. Wipe this malfunction. I failed my mission.

Swallowing, Kelly looked at his metal hand then back at him, "You're him aren't you? You're the one who's been shooting up the city these last few days and causing mass chaos."

When he said nothing she said, "I watched on the news. No one tried to stop you. No one can stop you. You've killed anyone who got in your way…" she stepped in front of him, "Why didn't you kill me?"

The winter soldier swallowed and looked down at her, "You're not my mission."

Kelly stared up at him, "Were those caught in the crossfire? Isn't that what I am? Just another bystander caught in the crossfire?"

He didn't look at her or give her an answer. He tried to step to the side but she stopped him.

"No," she said, "Don't go. Tell me why. Why didn't you kill me? Why did you follow me?"

Their eyes met again and stayed there. He was quiet for a moment then said, "I don't know."

"Don't you?" she asked, "You followed me so you could kill me. So do it. Don't play with me. I can't take these mind games."

He said nothing. Kelly shook her head for a second before looking back up at him but this time she saw something different. He looked at her with soft eyes, almost caring and protective whereas before they were harsh and cold. She couldn't understand why they changed. Why did he follow me? Has he been watching me for longer than today? Turning away, Kelly tried to get a grasp of the situation. Almost in a whisper she asked, "Why were you at that exhibit?"

"Trying to remember" she heard him answer.

Turning back towards him she said, "Remember what?"

"Who I am" he answered, staring at her.

Confused a moment, she took a second then it happened. She saw it, the reason he looked so familiar, more than just that they'd met at the museum. She looked at his face in the exhibit for a quite some time even though he didn't speak to her. Right in front of her stood none other than James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes.

Swallowing she said in disbelief, "How is it possible? It said James Barnes fell to his death but you're—here. Even if you are…You don't remember?"

"No," he said before turning his eyes back to her.

Stepping closer she said, "You will. Just give it time."

Kelly didn't know what else to do. She was having an actual conversation with a known assassin. She ran a hand through her hair and looked at the ground, trying to take it all in. Finally, she looked back up at him and said, "Thank you, for saving me. I wish you luck with your memories and stuff. But uh—I better go. Both of us should really. Not good to hang around crime scenes."

Turning around she started to walk away when a metal hand gripped hers. Looking back she saw his eyes again, still warm towards her. They stood in silence for a moment. Kelly felt her heartbeat and breath quicken. What can he possibly want from me? Right as she was about to open her mouth she stopped. She couldn't help it. He stunned her when he swallowed then said, "Help me?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Decision

_Help me._

They way he said it was less like a question but more like a plea. Speechless for a moment, Kelly tried to replay what just happened back in her mind. Finally she furrowed her brow and said, "What?"

"Help me."

Again she heard the strain in his voice and felt her chest congest a little. I really need to stop being empathetic, especially towards people who try to kill me or least this one. I really need to evaluate my life sometimes. "I heard you," she began, "Let me rephrase that. Why? Why me?"

The man stuffed his hands back into his pockets, scrunching his face as he searched hers. After a few moments, he dropped his gaze. "I don't know."

Kelly shook her head and stared back at him. "No, that's not gonna cut it. I need more than that. A few minutes ago you almost killed me and now you want my help. Why? What changed?"

The winter soldier's eyes lifted from beneath the baseball cap, locking on hers. She's such a strange young woman and still chalk full of surprises. Her eyes haven't left mine and she stands facing me, defiantly and unafraid even though mere moments before she feared for her life. A beat passed before he said, "I had a…flash. You help me remember."

Kelly raised an eyebrow, "You remembered something while you were choking me? Are you sure it wasn't someone else you killed?"

He stepped toward her but she sidestepped, backing herself against the wall. He studied her, assessing her features. She was shorter than him by a few inches. Her long blonde hair flowed in natural curls just past her collarbone where her chest heaved. She raised her hands against him for protection, no doubt. Yet everything to be learned lay before him in the blue pools above her nose. They stared at him as he stepped forward then said, "I already remember every mission I've completed. You reminded me of…another time. Another…life."

Swallowing Kelly watched him, trying to slow her breaths. Why the hell is he moving so close to me? Dammit I shouldn't have been so sarcastic. He still could kill me as easily as that other dude. "So, she asked, breathing out slowly, "you want me to what, stick around you or help you find out more about the guy you used to be?"

Kelly groaned inwardly as his gaze dropped to her lips before returning upward, "Yes."

Seriously? I have reached a new low. He's a murderer and yet still so damn attractive and now he has to go and do that? I really just need to get out of here and possibly see a shrink. Strike that, this story is too unbelievable. "Yes to which?" she asked.

"Both."

Sliding away from him she said, "This is crazy. I don't know you and honestly you're kind of freaking me out. I mean c'mon, the long lost friend of Captain America who died on a train in the '40's is now an assassin instead and in the year 2014? Sounds like something out of a comic book," she stopped, leaving a yard or two between them as she continued, "While I find it flattering that I 'help' you remember things, I typically don't go out of my way to help crazy guys who murder people in front of me or attempt to do the same to me… so I'm gonna go and uh—good luck with that."

Kelly broke into a run, however futile it might be but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw two uniformed police officers headed her way. "Shit" she muttered under her breath. Whipping around, she came face to face with the assassin once more, who suddenly held her arms tightly. He looked past her at the approaching officers. Without a word, he punched through door quickly behind them and pulled them inside, shutting it just as the cops passed by.

Darkness. She could only hear their breathing. The guy's was slow and steady where hers was bated. Great. Now what? I'm in a closet with a murderer. This day keeps getting better and better. What could possibly happen next? In a whisper she asked, "So how long are we going to stay in here?"

The winter soldier said nothing. He listened outside the door for the men outside. Releasing her, he crouched down and looked outside of the broken doorknob. More came and they already blocked off the area. Pulling a gun from his pocket he aimed until he heard a harsh whisper, "Are you crazy! There is a much easier way to get out of here. Follow my lead."

Kelly slightly opened the door for light, mussed up his hair and tilted his cap to the side. "There," she whispered and without warning planted a kiss on him. Biting her lip, she pulled his right hand and led him out of the closet, giggling like a schoolgirl.

The cops glanced their way and shook their heads, "Kids."

The assassin let her lead him. The kiss, the biggest surprise she'd given him, gave him another flash. He remembered walking into a large area with different inventions everywhere and looked up to see the sign that said World's Fair. All around him people stood, gawking at the exhibits or talking excitedly. "Bucky!" he heard from behind and turned. There stood a pretty brunette in a white dress, grinning at him. "C'mon! You promised we'd go dancing!" she said. Another flash then he saw himself with her again, slow dancing. She smiled shyly up at him as he bent his head lower and pressed his lips to hers. As he pulled back he said, "I could never forget you."

"Are you okay?" he heard and suddenly the winter soldier found himself very much in the present. He looked at the blonde in front of him and nodded. She cocked an eyebrow at him, "Funny, I don't think I believe you. I'd like to think I just have that mind-blowing of a kiss but I don't think that's it. You remembered more didn't you?"

He didn't say a word and Kelly sighed. Great. I really am his good luck charm. Biting her lip she looked from him to the ground then back at him. "Fine," she said exasperatingly, "I'll help you. But just until you remember then—then I…I don't know. How can I reach you? Where are you staying?"

The winter soldier looked toward her. "I return to base after missions. I am then reprogrammed and put to sleep until my next mission."

Tilting her head she asked, "What do you mean, reprogrammed? Like they wipe your memory?"

He nodded and she tilted her head backward for a moment. "I see," she said, "Well thank you for asking but sure, I guess you can stay with me. Follow me."

Before leading, Kelly stopped a second and fixed his hat, pushing some hair back behind his ears. His eyes watched her but she couldn't tell if he was grateful. He didn't say thanks or anything. She returned his gaze for a moment then turned. Sighing again she headed left and toward the exit. What have I gotten myself into?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Home

After a quick two block walk, Kelly led her redneck dressed assassin into her building and up the stairs to her second floor apartment. She unlocked the door then turned to face him, blocking the doorway with her arms and body. "Look," she said, "I don't typically let strange guys in here unless they're only going to stay for a night so I think it'd be nice if we were at least on first name basis. Now I realize you're kinda unsure about who you are exactly but if you think you're this Bucky guy then that's what we'll go with" she smiled then went on, "I'm not gonna call you that though because it sounds too tacky so I'm gonna call you James, okay?"

James didn't answer, just nodded. "Good," she went on, stepping aside so he could come in, "Welcome to my humble home."

Walking inside, he looked around. Unlike the lab where all he could see was the machine that wiped his memories and the many people donning labcoats, her home had a sofa against the wall and table to his left. Glancing around, he saw a desk with a chair to his right and a small horseshoe shaped area with a big white box. The purple, orange and red light from the sunset shone through the large window near to the sofa, with large drapes hanging at the sides. James watched as the young woman went towards the horseshoe area and opened the door on the big white box. "Didn't they have fridges in your day?" she asked, noticing his gaze.

Scrunching his eyebrows he asked, "Fridges?"

Chuckling Kelly took a swig from the water bottle in her hand and shut the door. "You know, refrigerator…didn't they call them the icebox or something for you?"

"It looks different now."

Smiling she answered, "Yeah, a lot of things probably are going to be like that for you. By the way, since I'm calling you James, it's only fair you have something to call me. My name's Kelly, Kelly Olson for what it's worth."

James didn't answer, only continued to look around. Stepping closer she asked, "So um, you hungry? Thirsty? Anything I can get you?"

Again he stayed silent. Kelly shook her head then said, "We really need to work on this whole conversation thing," sighing she plopped onto the couch then asked, "So how can I help? Almost killing me in the metro got you a flashback and same with a kiss. I'd like to not repeat the first method."

After the words passed her lips, she wondered if she should've added not to repeat the second either. Sure he looked like a redneck hillbilly that she knew in fact could murder her with a flick of his wrist but damn that kiss burned in her brain and nothing could extinguish it. The scruff on his face tickled and scratched her for that brief moment and lord knows when she pressed against him she felt the muscles in his chest. Rolling her shoulders and head, Kelly shook it off as she looked out the window. Only streetlights illuminated her block now that the sun disappeared. Turning back to him she said, "Actually, maybe we could start fresh in the morning. But uh—there's just one tiny issue. I only have 1 bed and a couch. I would offer the bed but it's not exactly tidy in my room so I hope you don't mind…"

Glancing towards her, James said, "I only sleep when I'm not needed and in a cryogenic tank."

"They put you in the freezer. Nice," she said with a sarcastic laugh, "Okay, then I guess the couch might be more comfortable anyway. Let me go get you a blanket and something to sleep in."

This time Kelly didn't wait for an answer, just stood up and headed back into her room, shutting the door. Leaning back for a second she sighed then went to her closet and pulled out the last remnants she had from Jacob. Grabbing a blanket from the top shelf and a pillow from her bed she went back out to the living room. James' eyes met hers as she came close, holding out the items to him. When he didn't grab them she set them down on the couch then said, "I know you want to find out who you are and I'm going to help but I'm not like you. I need rest and to be honest today has kind of drained me. However, with that being said I promise I'll do what it takes to help you but if you could do one thing for me, I'd be grateful."

Stepping towards him, Kelly took off his baseball cap and chuckled, "Okay maybe two things. First, you'll need a haircut. It's not because long hair isn't exactly fashionable in this time but because if your base starts looking for you it'll be harder for them. I've seen enough movies to know that," Setting the cap on the table she turned back to him, "Second, this is all still very crazy to me but I'm going to help you. Just please don't rush it okay? This isn't exactly my job description. Deal?"

James looked at her and nodded, "Okay."

"Good," she said then backed up, "Well uh—your clothes are there and you have a pillow and blanket so you should be good. I'll see you in the morning. Good night."

Kelly didn't wait for an answer, just turned and went into her room. James watched her leave then looked down at the things she brought. He shrugged out of his jean jacket and then his flannel shirt. He took the shorts but left the rest. Sitting back on the couch, he tried to remember more of what he had when Kelly kissed him but no more would come. Putting both fists on the couch, he pursed his lips and stared at her door. Tomorrow, she said. He didn't know if he could wait that long.

After she changed into a tank top and sweat pants, Kelly got into her bed and closed her eyes. After about 20 minutes of sheep counting, she opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Fabulous. Now I can't sleep all on account of the guy in the next room. How the hell am I gonna help him if I can't even get a wink of sleep? Sighing, she stood and went to her door. She quietly snuck out and into the bathroom, filling up the cup in there and taking a swig of water. Jesus it's not the first time you've had a guy over Kelly, why are you freaking out? Just because he is ruggedly attractive and happens to be a halfway decent kisser…get a grip. He's as old as your grandpa, technically. Geeze. Finishing the rest of the water, she set the cup down then slowly cracked the door. James was laying on the couch, shirtless, the shirt she brought on the floor next to him. Swallowing, she tried to tear her eyes away but couldn't help but stare at the perfect muscled chest she felt earlier. Biting her lip she closed her eyes, willing herself not to look. Slowly making her way back to her room, she shut the door quietly and got back into bed. It's gonna be a long night.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Research

The sun poured in from each window in the apartment. Kelly sighed, sitting up. Rubbing her eyes, she groaned as she already felt the puffiness indicating just how well she slept. Why doesn't Starbucks deliver? Sitting up and stretching her neck from side to side, she tossed her feet over the edge. Pushing herself off the bed and stepping towards her closet, she opened the doors. Debating for a brief moment, she threw on a pair of jeans in place of her sweatpants and then a bra before marching to the bathroom. Looking at her reflection, she groaned. So much for hoping this was all a dream. Underneath her neck, she could still see marks from James' tight grip. She gently touched the mark but it already began turning slightly bluish. Brushing her hair quickly and tossing it into a quick ponytail, she opened her door and walked into the hallway. Stopping halfway, she saw the vacant couch with the shorts and shirt she brought sitting on the floor.

Rubbing the back of her neck with her hand, Kelly snorted. Maybe I have just lost my mind. James Buchanan Barnes, the assassin, has not been in my place after all. I literally just had a temporary moment of insanity. One cup of coffee and everything will be back to normal. Stepping towards the kitchen, she gasped as James appeared, one arm on each counter. His eyes rose to meet hers as she slightly leaned against the fridge and said, "You really shouldn't sneak up on people like that, especially before they've had their coffee."

"Enough" he demanded, "Help me."

She faced him, seeing the iciness in his eyes as she grabbed a mug from the cupboard. "All in good time, don't worry. But first, I need coffee to function."

James smacked the mug out of her hand, the glass shattering across the tile. Kelly looked up and saw his tense jaw before kneeling to start picking up the pieces. "You know, I actually liked that mug" she said, tossing the pieces in the trash, "How about you stop breaking my things, take a chill pill and give me a minute. I know you want this done wham-bam-boom but it's isn't gonna happen like that. And I could've sworn I asked you not to rush it. Geeze, patience is definitely not one of your virtues."

Turning away from him for a second, she turned her Keurig on and grabbed another mug out of the cupboard. "How about you tell me what you already remember. Maybe that'd be a good starting point."

James didn't say anything at first, narrowing his eyes on her then the machine as it poured out liquid into her cup. "I saw a little girl," he began, "My sister, Rebecca. She was running away from me and into my mother's arms. She complained I was getting her dress dirty."

"Okay… that's good," Kelly said, taking a swig of her coffee then continuing, "I remember reading in your bio at the museum that you had a sister but she died with your mother. I don't remember how."

His expression passed from despondent to blinking in an instant. She stepped toward him, willing his eyes to refocus on her. "Hey, it's okay. Everyone has memories that hurt along with ones that make them happy. Hell I've got plenty of both" glancing away for a second and taking a drink, she went on, "then there are memories I wish I could forget. That's just the hand we're dealt though," She paused for a second, watching him as he did her before breaking his gaze, "So, are there any others?"

"Just one."

"Yeah? That's good. And while I'm thinking of it, I guess I should ask what triggered each one too. That way I know what helps you remember. Not necessarily to repeat the same process but to at least get an idea how to stir them up. When did you get the first one?"

"When I choked you."

"Again I say, we're not going to do that again. Still…I reminded you of your sister when you were trying to kill me? I really hope you didn't try to kill your sister."

"No," he replied with a slight shake of his head, "Your eyes were wide like hers in surprise."

"Oh," Kelly said, "Well for the record surprise is better than fear 'cuz I definitely wasn't afraid of you, not at all…." She swallowed then said, "What about the other? I know it happened after I…kissed you. What was the memory?"

Although she didn't know how, his stare intensified, causing her to shift her weight uncomfortably. Glancing away she waited for his reply while trying to stop her heart from racing whenever he looked at her. For God's sake, get a grip woman.

James stared at her, remembering the moment she pressed her lips and body to his. It felt strange, strange because it stirred in him emotions he hadn't felt since the memory that followed. Her lips were soft but she forced them on him roughly, an interesting paradox. Even now he began to wonder how she knew exactly what to do to help elicit a flash or if it happened by coincidence. "A girl I knew," he answered, "I took her to the World's fair. Then sometime later we went dancing and I kissed her."

"Wow," Kelly said, looking away for a moment. Holy cow, I reminded him of another girl. I don't know if I should count it as a win because he got a memory or a loss because he wasn't thinking of me. God I need help. Taking a deep breath she asked, "Do you remember her name? Maybe she's a long lost love or something. Maybe if you two reconnect you could—"

"No."

Kelly sighed, "Well it's a start. Now let's see what Google has to say."

Turning around, she headed towards her desk. Sitting in her chair, she opened her laptop, input the password and pulled up Google. Typing 'James Buchanan Barnes' in the search bar and tapping her fingers, she waited for the results. She barely felt the air move but knew he stood next to her. His metal arm rested on the edge of the desk. Sighing, she looked at the screen, "Let's see…Bucky Barnes, childhood friend of Steve Rogers…yadda yadda…Captain America rescues friend from Hydra stronghold…yadda yadda…the two friends went on with the Howling Commandos, stopping Hydra at every turn until Barnes gave his life falling from a train on a mission," turning to him she asked, "What exactly do you want to find? Honestly, shouldn't you be asking your buddy, Steve…wait…you killed him didn't you? He was on that helacarrier when it crashed and you were too. He's your mission!"

James glanced down then at her, "He's alive. I don't know why but I…couldn't."

Kelly rolled her eyes, "Because you're friends, duh. You remembered that much. That will stick with you. So why are you here? You should find him."

"No" he said, turning away.

Kelly got up and stood behind as she asked, "Why? Won't he be able to answer more questions than me?"

Whipping around, James held her upper arms tight and stared at her, "I can't. He's still my mission. If I see him…" he gritted his teeth, "I don't know if I can save him again."

"Okay" she said, almost in a whisper, "just tell me what I can do, what you need to know about your past to help you remember."

"All of it."

Kelly sighed, "Then I know exactly where I need to go."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: The Captain

Kelly passed the familiar wall plastered with Captain America's face one more time. She took out a small notebook and a pen from her purse as she stopped in front of the Bucky Barnes tribute. Staring at the picture she sighed. How is it possible the guy in her apartment was the same guy? Shaking her head, she wrote everything down even though most of it she already found. She shuffled around the exhibit and scribbled everything containing Bucky Barnes back-story in her tiny notebook. Biting her lip as she reread her notes, she realized that there wasn't anything new. From behind, she heard the video play. Turning she saw Captain America charging into the fight with the Howling Commandos behind. It's not fully about him but hey it's more than what I have so far right?

Kelly moved toward the inside of the theater, finding a spot near the end. James' face came on screen with the same stern look he still wore today. She smiled though when every so often he would laugh with Captain Rogers by his side. Too bad he doesn't want contact. The captain is his best chance of remembering it all. Still it's his life, his memories. I'm just here for the ride I guess. After the film finished, Kelly approached one of the overseers. "Hi," she began to say to an older man standing next to the costumes, "I'm looking to put together a story on this exhibit and I'm wondering if the exhibit contains the full films of Captain America and the Howling Commandos or where I could possibly access them?"

"Sorry miss those films are protected by the museum and therefore unattainable" he answered.

"Really?" she asked, smiling as sweetly as she could, "There's no other way?"

"Sorry, it's a little above my pay grade" he apologized, "I would try contacting one of the heads of the museum exhibit. I just make sure no one touches anything."

Kelly smiled, "Thanks for your help."

Turning sharply, she ran into a tall guy in a baseball cap. Stepping back she said, "I'm so sorry. That was totally my fault."

"Don't worry about it" he said with a smile.

Kelly looked up and her eyes widened. Standing in front of her was none other than Captain Rogers. Well I'll be damned. Chuckling she said, "Well I gotta say, I didn't think I'd see the day Captain Rogers came to his own exhibit. Isn't that kind of narcissistic?"

He chuckled, "Had to return something I borrowed" he said, glancing at the uniform back on the mannequin, "but I had to get it dry cleaned first."

Kelly laughed, "Don't you keep spares?"

Captain Rogers chuckled again then asked, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you say you're writing an article?"

"Yeah, I did. I'm a blogger slash freelance writer so, yeah" she replied.

Captain Rogers glanced down at her notes. He looked back at her face and asked, "Personality profile?"

She smiled then said, "No not really. I'm uh, well, Mr. Barnes just seems like he was so vital to the Howling Commandos and he was your best friend. I mean," she gestured to the exhibits, "You get this whole thing for you and he gets only one small bit of it. If not for him, you might not have charged in and saved all those other men."

Nodding he said, "You're right."

Kelly sighed and glanced backward at the video that began again before looking up at him once more. "That's why I'm trying to get a hold of those videos," she said, "All that you accomplished together before he died is so amazing. Besides, I wouldn't be a good writer if I didn't do good enough research right?"

"Right," he smiled, "Well let me see what I can do. If you give me your information I can try my best to get you what you need."

"Thanks," she said, "But this is a huge favor. Why are you doing this for me?"

Steve paused for a second then said, "Bucky was my best friend. Any kind of honor done to him I respect and support."

Tearing off a sheet of paper, Kelly jotted down her name, phone number and address. "Here," she said, handing it to him, "Thanks again."

"Thank me by letting me read your article first" he said with a smile.

"Deal" Kelly smiled, "Nice to meet you, Captain."

"Please," he said, extending a hand, "Call me Steve. And you are?"

"Kelly Olson" she said as they shook hands, "Until next time."

She then turned and walked away, out of the exhibit entirely. Steve watched her go then rounded the corner to a waiting Natasha, leaning against the wall. "She's lying you know."

"Yeah I know" Steve sighed, "She knows something but I don't know what."

"So let's go find out" she said, twirling around and walking away.

Arriving back at her apartment, Kelly just unlocked the door before she sensed something was off. Looking up at her door she said over her shoulder, "You can come in Captain, all you had to do was ask."

"Steve," he said as he emerged from the shadows, "You knew I followed you."

She turned and titled her head, "Please, I'm not that gullible. People just don't do other people favors. What can I do for you?"

"Bucky's alive and I think you know where he is."

Kelly scrunched her eyebrows, "I'm sorry but I thought he died. Fell from that train back in 1940 something and then you were frozen. How exactly is he alive again?"

Grabbing her arm he said, "Don't play games. Where is he?"

"He's not here," she said, shaking off his grasp, "But since I know that's not enough for you, why don't you take a look around."

"Don't mind if we do," Natasha said, strutting forward with a smile. Both she and Steve walked ahead and inside before she followed. Watching as the two of them searched every nick and cranny, Kelly bit her lip. For once I hope he didn't listen to me when I told him to stay. This is bad. How did I get so terrible at lying? I thought I sounded pretty convincing. Finally Steve looked at her, glancing around one more time, "There's nothing here."

Kelly sighed, "I told you. I'm just a normal girl writing an article."

Steve stepped towards her, "What do you know about the last few days?"

Shrugging she answered, "Just what I've seen on the news."

"That's not all," Natasha said, throwing her a menacing glare, "I would suggest you cooperate. We really haven't had the best few days ourselves."

Kelly's eyes darted to each of them then said, "Fine. He was at the exhibit. I bumped into him and he followed me then tried to kill me. That's it. I was curious because he looked like Bucky Barnes so I decided to get some info. But I'm just trying to write an article and pay my bills okay?"

Steve looked at her then Natasha, "Let's go."

On his way out he said, "If you see him again, call us."

Natasha walked towards Kelly, handing her her own phone, "I already put the numbers in."

Watching dumbfounded as they left, she sighed and slumped into her desk chair. As the two of them walked down the stairs Steve said, "He hasn't been there. There's nothing."

"He doesn't leave anything behind," she answered, "He's been there, I can feel it. I don't know how but she's a player but we'll find out soon enough."

"How?"

Natasha smiled, "While we were searching her place I bugged it and then her phone. If she's hiding something, we're about to find out what it is," Opening the door she went on, "C'mon. He'll be back for her and when he is, we'll have them both."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Alone?

Three days passed without a word. Kelly sat at her desk, staring at the screen of her computer. She read through the news articles and watched the videos of everything that happened with the helacarrier's and whatnot. The news camera's only caught glimpses of James and most believed him to have died in the helacarrier crash. On the corner of her desk sat the DVD's of all the Captain America movies, thanks to Steve. He apparently had some friends convert them. Sighing, she leaned back. Am I dreaming?

After a few more days, Kelly watched every single film made. James figured in all of them except the ones before he was rescued, clearly. The more she watched, the more she learned about Hydra and wished she didn't. Thanks to the intelligence breach, all the information she could possibly acquire was there online and she read through most of it. How could this have happened and no one noticed? On the plus side, most of the bad guys had been stopped. Yet, not all Hydra operatives had been captured. Twirling her pen, she wondered how many more prominent people worked for such an organization. But after a bit she gave up. What's the point? It's been a week and he's gone. Why do I still care about this?

Slipping her phone in her fleece pocket, Kelly locked her apartment and headed downstairs. I need to clear my head of him. It was probably in my imagination and Steve and his partner just want to mess with me. Why? No idea. Popping into a local convenience store, she grabbed a pop and some chips before heading out. She was passing an alley when suddenly she was grabbed from behind and shoved against the hard building. Looking up she saw him still in his hillbilly shirt, denim jacket and baseball cap. James.

His hostile eyes and tense jaw were nothing compared to the metal hand holding her shoulder in place. With his other hand, James took her cell phone from her hand and threw it to the ground, smashing it with his foot. "Hey!" she yelled.

He stared at her unblinking before snarling, "I told you not to bring him into this."

Struggling Kelly answered, "I didn't. He found me."

Pushing her tighter he sneered, "You're lying."

"No I'm not," she said, sighing as she realized resisting was useless, "He found me and followed me but luckily you were gone."

Without warning, James punched her in the jaw. Dazed for a second, Kelly wiped the blood now coming from her lip before looking up at him. "What the hell! I'm trying to help you remember? And this is what I get? Bullshit! It's not my fault your friend is trying to find you," she shook her head, "Why are you even here? You were gone, vanished without a trace. You didn't leave me any kind of sign."

"You're being watched."

Kelly rolled her eyes, "How could you possibly know that?"

Releasing her for a second, James picked up part of her broken phone and held it between his fingers. Holding it up to her face, her shoulders slumped. I've seen enough T.V. to know what that is. "That's a bug isn't it?"

James didn't answer only gritted his teeth and pushed her back against the wall. Kelly's eyes flared, "I had no idea they did that!" Pushing back against him, she struggled and finally when she had no options, bit him. James pulled back his hand with a grunt and she swung hard to the side of his face. He blocked her, causing her to resort to playground measures. Pulling his hair, he growled and shoved her against the dumpster, pushing it back a few feet. Kelly cried out, slumping to the ground. Staring up at him she yelled, "What the hell did you bring me into?" She slowly stood then slapped him hard against the face, "Why did you want me!"

James grabs her and pushes her back up against the building. Shoulders slumping again in resignation, Kelly whispered, "What'd I do to deserve this?"

James watched her, lips twisted in a snarl. They stood there for what felt like endless minutes. She watched him and their eyes held each other, unwavering. He noticed that unlike in the metro, her eyes weren't wide in horror. Hopelessness reflected back at him from her deep blue pools. His tense jaw softened and his eyes glanced downward to her lips before meeting hers once more. Without a moment's hesitation, James pressed his mouth to hers.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: On the Run

Kelly felt tensed with James' intense glare. She swallowed and waited for his hand to raise then make contact with her face. But not for one second did she think he would kiss her. It wasn't like it was an ordinary kiss either. James pinned her body against side of the building with his, roughly moving his lips against hers. For a second she thought she should shove him off for having the audacity to pull such a move after throwing her into that dumpster but damn if he wasn't good at what he was doing, rough or not. Screw this. I might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Kelly instantly reciprocated with the same intensity, even biting his lip. She swore she heard a groan as she opened her mouth and let his tongue in. Getting one hand free, she snaked her fingers around the back of his neck pulling him closer. Just as she was about to give a little yank on his hair, he pushed himself away.

The memories flashed in his brain like lightning. Each one was from a different moment in time. He saw Steve as a kid and the sleepovers they had. Laughing on the pillows and talking about anything. Then a flash of him shipping out with the other guys, all wondering what was in store and how many hearts they'd steal from the foreign dames. James saw his father and all the times he held a liquor bottle in hand, cursing him and grieving about the death of his mother and sister. Then he saw the war and the bunker he was in before the moment he killed his first Nazi. The last was a glimpse of his capture and being strapped to the table. Dr. Zola stood over him and told him what a fine asset he was going to make. They flooded his consciousness, causing him to grip the sides of his head. James turned away from Kelly and leaned against the dumpster.

"I hope that jogged more good memories than bad," she said, approaching him slowly, "I should've known that wasn't for my benefit. Still, you could give a girl some warning next time."

James turned to see her lips curled into a half smile as she pressed her hands to his temples, rubbing gently in small circles. "Well?" she asked after a few moments.

He pulled her hands down and met her gaze as he said, "They came in bursts. Never a full one only…pieces."

"Hey," Kelly said, entwining her fingers with his before squeezing his hand, "It's better than none at all."

They looked at each other for a moment before James suddenly pushed Kelly to the side, standing in front of her. Within an instant he had a gun in hand and shot at the top of the building. She saw the guy fall but he was the second priority compared to the blood now staining her white fleece jacket and shooting pain. She gripped her arm as James pulled her with him towards the street. Just as they hit the sidewalk, James again shot a man but this time coming from the very convenience store she stopped in earlier. Quickly he pulled her towards a parked SUV, punching in the window with his metal hand and unlocking the doors. "Are you nuts?" Kelly said, "Grand theft auto!"

Shooting over her shoulder, James took another one down before he looked at her and said, "Get in. Now."

Not about to argue any further since they were under fire, Kelly opened the door and got in. James jumped inside then quickly rubbed a couple wires together, igniting the engine. Shifting from park and pressing his foot to the gas, they sped off into traffic.

"Who are they?"Kelly asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"Hydra" he answered, eyes steady on the road.

"They're after you aren't they? To bring you back right? Why'd they shoot me then?"

Turning to face her he said, "You've been keeping me from them."

Slumping into her seat she said, "Great, that's just what I need, more trouble. I'm a walking freaking target for murder attempts this week."

James eyes glanced in the rearview mirror, seeing another SUV and a sedan trailing them. He sped up more, weaving in and out of the other cars. A few cars crashed at the intersection they passed through but still the others kept coming. Coming up to another stoplight, he swerved right and zoomed on. They approached the bridge and he commanded, "Take the wheel!"

Kelly reached over as James rolled down the window and slid out of it, shooting at the cars behind them. Sliding into the driver's seat and watching in the rearview mirror, she saw them bring out machine guns. She turned hard left, letting James take out the driver of the SUV as she avoided a Prius. The SUV hit the median and crashed into oncoming traffic. Speeding on, she saw the sedan still followed. "Let me drive" James said as he slid back in.

Kelly moved back over, gripping her seat tightly after frantically making sure her seatbelt was on again. "Hang on!" he said as he jerked the wheel. Suddenly they flew through the side of the bridge, heading directly into the river.

"Hold your breath!" he yelled as they hit, water gushing through the windows they opened moments before. Kelly inhaled as much air as she could before water surrounded them. Anxiously trying to undo the seatbelt she just spent so much trouble putting back on, she couldn't get it off. James cut it with his knife, freeing her. Grabbing her with his metal arm, he then pulled Kelly out the window as the car sank to the bottom.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Secluded Together

Kelly spit out the water and gasped for air as she surfaced. James still held onto her fleece and pulled her upright as their feet touched ground. Trudging out of the water, she collapsed when she hit grass. Turning to look up at him, she panted, "Again I say," She gestured to each of them, "We need to work on this communication thing."

James' eyes looked back at the bridge before looking to her, "Come on. We need to cover as much distance as possible."

Standing a second then placing her hands on her knees she replied, "Easy for you to say. You're in super awesome shape. I hate to tell you this, but I never work out. I never have and I'm really starting to believe I never will. I might need a minute or ten."

"We don't have it," he said, approaching her then quickly sweeping his arm underneath her legs and lifting her up.

"Seriously? You're gonna carry me?" Kelly asked, raising an eyebrow.

James didn't answer but trekked through the trees, heading away from the road. After about 20 minutes, they hit a house on the river. He set her down and she knocked on the door. After a few moments, an elderly couple answered the door. She sensed him grabbing his gun but stepped forward and said, "We're so sorry to bother you but me and my fiancé here just crashed our car off the bridge from some crazy driver!"

"Oh my goodness!" The elderly lady exclaimed.

"It's okay, we're feeling fine but we need to get back on the road. We should really get to a hospital to get checked out. Better safe than sorry, right?"

"Well of course! My husband could drive you" the lady said as she turned to her husband.

Kelly smiled sweetly, "Thank you so much but even so we were actually off to set up finally preparations for the big day. I saw you had a two car garage. Is there any possible way you'd be willing to lend us a car? I promise I will return it," she paused a second before continuing, "I know you have no reason to trust me but we are in serious need."

The couple looked to each other for a few moments then the man turned back to them said, "Of course. We'd love to help. Let me take you to the garage."

"Thank you so much," she said as they followed him. Looking back at James she whispered, "See, you don't always have to kill people to get the things you need."

In the garage, the man led them to an older Chevy Impala. "This is such a nice car," Kelly said, "Now I feel really awful for asking."

The man shook his head and smiled. "Nonsense," he said, waving a hand, "My '67 Impala doesn't get out as much as she used to."

"Thank you," James said, causing Kelly to look at him in surprise. He looked at the man then at her.

"Drive safe and I hope you get to your destination okay" the man said.

Kelly gently embraced him, smiling as she said, "Thank you again. It's not so often nowadays that a stranger is so kind to another."

The man just smiled as the two of them got in the car and backed out. She waved at them both as they exited the driveway and got onto the road. Neither of them spoke in the car all that much and from time to time, Kelly checked her arm. Luckily the car crash story helped go along with that random wound. Tilting her hear back, she watched out the window as they passed into Virginia and James began to take some back roads.

After another 30 minutes, they found a rather secluded cabin at the end of one of the driveways. "You're kidding right?" Kelly said, staring at him wide-eyed, "This is just a horror movie come to life. I mean, 'Wrong Turn' much?"

James squinted his eyes at her, "We didn't take a wrong turn."

"I have to try to remember that you won't get all my pop culture references," she said then sighed, "Fine, but you're opening the door first. Just please ask if anyone's home before shooting?"

The two of them got out of the car and approached the door. Kelly stood behind James, peeking out from the side of him. She knocked on the door quick then took her place back behind. No answer. They waited a few minutes and knocked again. No answer. He turned to look at her and she shrugged. James gave the door a good kick and they walked inside.

Inside, Kelly saw a couch and arm chair close to a fireplace and a woodstove inside a tiny kitchen. "Hello?" she called out, "We don't mean to intrude but we did knock first. Please don't kill us."

James raised his eyebrows and looked at her again, causing her to shrug. She went further back, finding a small bathroom and then a master bedroom, all of which were empty. "Well" she sighed, "No one's here. Guess we can call it home."

Kelly watched as he stood by the window, no doubt making sure they hadn't been followed. She turned, beginning to explore the place. Checking the panty, she found it to be well stocked. "Looks like we should be fine on food for a while. Geeze whoever lives here really stocked up. Maybe they're one of those doomsday preppers…" she said, glancing at him to find her giving her the same confused look, "It's a TV show. Crazy people preparing for the Apocalypse by building bomb shelters and stuff."

Making her way into the bedroom, Kelly opened the small closet door. Inside she found endless flannel shirts and jeans. She checked the sizes before coming back out where James stood. "There's nothing but guys' clothes here which sucks for me but," she held up a flannel shirt, "At least you can keep your redneck look going."

Chuckling as she walked away, Kelly went into the bathroom. Rummaging through the medicine cabinet she found a regular first aid kit, some toothpaste and the best thing she could ask for, hair clippers like the ones at a hair salon. "Oh James," she called before walking back out to face him. He turned to face her as she continued, "It's time. Though I should warn you that I've never done this but hey it wouldn't be the first time you've wanted to kill me."

Kelly flashed him a grin then said, "C'mon, there's no one out there. Let's get this done."

James sat in the armchair as she grabbed a couple plastic bags to catch any hair on the floor. Taking off his hat, she stepped back and looked at him. "Unless you want hair all over your shirt, you might wanna lose it."

Without a word, he pulled off his flannel shirt then his t-shirt over his head. Kelly stepped behind him, trying not to focus on those muscles and the metal arm that she couldn't deny fascinated her. "Ready?" she asked.

"Just do it."

"Okay…" she said, "I promise I won't give you a Bieber haircut," she paused, remembering his lack of pop culture, "he's a talentless singer who's popular right now."

Looking at his hair, Kelly swallowed and started to cut. She did it in silence and she was happy because she knew if she looked down just once she may not be able to concentrate at all. God I need to stop. But damn if that kiss wasn't something. I know I know it was only to get more memories but damn he didn't have to press against me like that or groan when our tongues met. Focus woman. You can't mess this up. Finishing up and making sure everything was even, she stepped back. "I think you're good. I'm pretty sure I didn't mess it up too bad," she said, grabbing a one of the silver pots from down below the sink so he could see his reflection. James looked at it and ran a hand through it.

"What do you think?" she asked.

He looked up at her, "It looks fine."

James stood, letting every loose hair drop. Kelly swallowed and helped brush off the other pieces. "You'll uh…you're gonna want to um—wash that off. There's a tub in there or you can use the rag by the sink."

After she turned away from him he said, "Is there a reason you can't look at me when I don't have a shirt?"

Shit. Kelly swallowed again but then turned to faced him. "Just common courtesy. I didn't think you'd want me to anyway."

James replied, "It makes no difference to me."

"Well," she said quickly, changing the subject, "I suppose we should probably get some sleep. Do you think anyone followed us?"

"No. We're safe here for now."

"Great," Kelly replied, "Then um, I'll take the bed for tonight if you don't mind and um I'll see you in the morning."

She didn't say another word just hurried to the bedroom. Shutting the door she sighed. Great. Now he knows I'm attracted to him. Of course it had to be before I could play it off but damn he was too close. How the hell am I gonna survive being this close to him for however long we're here? Sighing again, Kelly changed into just a flannel shirt and got under the covers. What a week.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Tension

Kelly woke up early and glanced out the window. She had no idea what time it was. Damn James for crushing my phone. I know it had a bug but come on. They're not cheap you know. Yawning and walking into the bathroom, she picked up the toothbrush. This is all kinds of gross but I guess I don't have a choice. Yay for survival. Hope I don't get a disease. After brushing her teeth and running the comb through her tangled hair, she peeked out to see if James was awake.

He stood by the window, pulling his t-shirt over his head. She smiled as he rubbed a hand through his shorter hair. Slowly she snuck back to the room and put on her shirt and jeans, leaving the bloody fleece on the floor. She hissed when the shirt struck her arm and slowly she lifted up the little bit of sleeve to see it. Although the bullet grazed her, she saw that there was still a half inch incision which clotted thanks to her holding it in the car. From behind she heard, "You better clean that."

Looking up, Kelly saw James standing in the doorway. "Thanks. I know I should but gunshot wound care is a little outside of my expertise."

"Come here," he said and she walked over to him. He looked at her before down at the wound, gently touching it. Hissing again quickly and grimacing, she looked up at him, "Will it hurt like this for awhile?"

James merely nodded, before leading her to the bathroom. Leaning against the sink, he got the rag wet and soaped up then stood there waiting. "What?" she asked then once she realized raised her eyebrows, "Really? You can't do it with my shirt on? It's a short sleeve for cryin' out loud."

Rolling her eyes, Kelly lifted her shirt over her head, with a little help from James. Gritting her teeth as he cleaned it she said, "Thank you, by the way, for pushing me out of the way. Pretty sure that bullet would've gone in my chest otherwise."

His eyes didn't leave her wound as he said, "I need you alive."

Turning her head to look at the wall, she sighed, "Right. I'm your way of remembering."

After a few more minutes of silence, he stepped back. "You're done."

Glancing down at the bandage then back to him she replied, "Thanks."

She slid back on her shirt with his help then said, "So what are we going to do? There's no Wi-Fi here so I can't Google any more of your past and all my notes are back in D.C."

James was quiet a moment then said, "We wait."

Kelly replied sarcastically, "Color me excited," sighing she said, "I'm going to at least something out of the mass quantities of food…Do you eat? I mean I'm sure you did at one point but if they froze you between missions…"

His lips curled into a half smile, stunning her because she'd never seen him do it since they met. "I eat."

"Good," she answered with a smile, "And you'll have to deal with whatever I make. So I hope you like hotdogs and mac and cheese."

Kelly walked passed him still grinning as she headed to the kitchen. Grabbing two saucepans, she turned around to put them on the stove and almost dropped them when she saw him standing there. Shaking her head and moving around him she said, "It's not polite to sneak up on people you know."

After James said nothing she said, "How about you tell me more about Hydra. It might be a good idea for me to know more about the organization trying to kill me."

Watching her he answered, "They're the same as they were before. They eliminated threats to their vision of a new world."

Looking at him after putting the water in the saucepans she said, "That's where you came in, huh?"

James merely glanced down for a few moments then back at her. Leaning back against the counter, she said, "I just wish I knew who they've infiltrated. I mean, the news already showed those caught in our own government so who know who else? It's a good thing I don't have many close friends. They might try to kill me."

"I'd stop them" he replied.

Meeting his eyes for a moment then she looked away, focusing on the food. Does he have to make it sound like that? Like I'm more to him than just a way for him to remember? She flashed back to the kiss in alley for a brief second before shaking it off and saying, "Yeah yeah. I know. You have to protect me so I can help get your memories back."

James looked like he was about to say something but didn't. He just stared, causing Kelly to shift her weight. Finishing up the food, she grabbed two bowls out of the cupboard. Serving out the mac then putting the hotdogs on top, she handed him a bowl with a fork. "Here you go."

He glanced at it then her and she rolled her eyes, "Oh shush and eat."

They both went into the main room, James sitting in the armchair and Kelly on the couch. Eating in silence, she avoided looking at him. Instead she stared out the window at the sun rays that shone outside. It made her miss the sun in her apartment. But then again, she missed her apartment in general. She found it her place of solace. She could write there so there was work but then she had her couch, T.V. and everything that could make her feel, well, part of this century.

James watched her, intrigued by the fact she stopped looking at him. Even more puzzling to him was the fact he couldn't stop looking at her. He took in more detail about her that since they met he didn't notice. First, her hair fell in golden waves across her shoulders and spilling down her back. Second, whenever he didn't understand a reference she made, her eyes warmed then rolled before the soft rumble of laughter came from her throat. Third, when he stared at her too long, she constantly shifted her weight or blinked quickly and looked away. Lastly, her smile shone more radiantly then the sun even with two front teeth that stuck out a little further than the others.

Most importantly, James kept thinking back to the alley. He still didn't know why he kissed her only that the thought of her deliberately lying angered him. But when he saw her there, accepting her fate no matter what he did, he just reacted. He didn't even want to remember anything at that moment in time. Pure instinct drove him that day and every day since. Remembering some of the girls from his past, they didn't compare to how the warmth of her body felt against his. He wanted it back.

Kelly glanced back at him and caught his stare. She blinked rapidly and looked away before shaking her head, "Weren't you taught it's rude to stare? I'm trying to eat you know."

Finishing her last bite, she stood and took it to the sink. Why the hell does he keep staring at me? Shit, do I have hot dog in my teeth? Gross! He's probably laughing at me, on the inside anyway. Does he know how to laugh? God I need to stop this. Turning around, there James stood, handing her his bowl. "I like what you cook."

Kelly chuckled, "You can thank Kraft; they put it in the box."

"I'm thanking you."

She swallowed hard. His eyes never left hers, reminding her of in the alley. Oh God. He's going to do it isn't he? Seriously how many more memories does he need right now? Can't he process the ones' he's got?

James leaned in but she put her hands up against his chest. "Can we not do that method for a bit?" she asked, glancing away from him for a second, "I know you're just trying to remember and I'm onboard for that it's just…" she glanced from his lips back to his eyes, "too much of it could lead to unwanted and unreciprocated feelings and I just don't want to complicate things. I'm still here to help you but it'd just be better for both of us if we don't, okay?"

He didn't move. "And if it's not just for remembering?"

Kelly swallowed hard again then said, "Then it's still not a good idea. You're emotionally compromised right now. Let's just get you your memories back and then see how things go…okay?"

James didn't answer for a moment. He furrowed his brow then nodded in agreement.

"Good," she said, "So…what now then?"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Free Time

James said nothing, only looked away. Kelly leaned backward, resting her hands on the utility cart behind her. "Look," she began, "I know that's not the answer you wanted to hear. But honestly I'm still trying to come to grips with the life and death situations we keep finding ourselves in and helping you regain your memories. I mean a few days ago I didn't know anything about HYDRA or any of it. I just worried about if my next article would get me enough money to pay rent. Please, I still want to help but just not that way. You're not the only one of us compromised emotions."

Sighing and looking down a moment, when she looked up she found James' eyes on her. Swallowing she went on, "Don't worry about me okay I'm just—I'm a mess. Even if you did feel like that…Well, just never mind. I'm not the girl guys pick."

Kelly bit her lip for a moment before shuffling past him back into the main room. She stood in front of the window, looking out at the green that shone everywhere. Taking a breath, she closed her eyes. She remembered her last boyfriend, Jacob. For 4 years they acted like they owned the world. I thought him and I would be it, happy ending and all. I really thought he was going to propose when we ate out at Chester's and instead I catch him the next day with my best friend. I'm such an idiot. Why am I only attracted to guys who are broken or emotionally unavailable? Sighing Kelly turned, not finding James glued to her like a few moments ago. Well it's good he's not shadowing me. He needs to remember his old life, not this horror show that we're living.

Kelly went over to the door, slowly opening it and looking outside. The sun was already starting to descend on their first day at the cabin. First day as a fugitive on the run from everyone. God my life is like a movie. She stepped out a second, seeing a squirrel crawling on the porch railing. Just as she reached out to see if it would come to her, James was there pushing her against the wall and pointing his gun at the animal. She laughed, "Unless HYDRA is recruiting animals I really don't think you have to worry about the squirrel."

He lowered the gun, taking in the surroundings then looking at her, "You shouldn't be out here."

"Well it's not like I'm not protected," she argued, "Look how fast you got to me. I thought you were still in the kitchen."

James backed away then grabbed her arm, pulling her inside.

Kelly struggled, "You can't be serious! I can't even get a little sun?"

He tossed her into the armchair. "Okay I got it!" she shouted, "Geeze, I can walk you know.

Turning his back to her, James looked out the window. She crossed her arms and grunted. So much for him wanting to kiss me now. God why do I keep thinking about that? I need therapy so bad when this is over. Huh, will I even get my old life back after this? She sighed. Man I wish I had my MP3 player right now. I'm so bored. How do people live without technology? Kudos to the Amish. I can't do it.

After a few hours of finding anything to amuse herself, the sun set in the sky. Yawning, Kelly stretched her arms out. James still kept watch out the window but he did pace some earlier. They didn't speak again. I bet he's not going to talk to me now. Typical guy, girl doesn't give what he wants then he's done with them. Standing she started to walk to the room but stopped and turned to him. "I'm going to sleep since there's really nothing else to do," she said, "Good night."

James didn't move a muscle or even acknowledge what she said. His mind was occupied by memories. Like a broken film strip, he only saw bits and pieces still. Intertwined with the things from the past was every moment spent with Kelly. The clarity of everything they'd experienced together astounded him. Even those memories of his previous missions didn't compare. Why? Why was she so important? What's her significance? Why didn't I kill her? He still stood by the window hours later until resigning himself to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Dreams

Kelly awoke to the sound of James yelling. Jumping out of the bed frantically, she rushed out in just the flannel shirt she wore. She found him on the couch, gripping the sides tight but still asleep. Kneeling, she gently she shook him and said, "James… James it's okay… James…"

He startled awake, breathing heavily. His eyes darted around in the darkness until they came to rest on her. "You're okay," Kelly said, smiling slightly, "I'm here."

James sat up, his breathing slowing down. Tossing his legs over the side and resting his forearms on his knees he turned to her and said, "Thank you."

"Sure," she replied. "You going to be okay?"

"I don't know."

"More memories?"

"Yes."

Kelly put her hand atop one of his. Gently squeezing it she said, "Good or bad?"

James swallowed before lifting his eyes to hers. "All the lives I've taken."

She watched him return his gaze to the floor. Scooting in front of him on her knees, she held both his hands and said, "Hey. It wasn't you. Blame HYDRA."

Through grit teeth he answered, "They didn't pull the trigger."

"Yeah they did," she countered, putting a finger to his forehead, "Just they did it in here. It's on them. Don't blame yourself for the crap they made you do."

Again he looked away but Kelly brought back his eyes when she gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "I know what I said," she answered to the eyes staring at her in surprise, "and I'm not doing it to help you remember or anything like that. I still stand by what I said. But you need to believe it's not your fault…like I do."

A few moments passed in silence with them only looking at each other before she lowered her eyes and said, "I should get back to bed. If you need anything, you know where I'll be."

Kelly smiled before standing and heading back to the room. As she was about to get back in, she felt a hand grab hers. Turning, James pulled her against his chest and pressed his lips to hers. Pushing against his chest and trying to pull away she said, "Wait…I still…I didn't mean…"

"I want you" he said, searching her eyes, "Please" he begged, letting his stare drift between her lips and eyes, "I need you."

She groaned. Why? Why did he have to do this? How can I keep saying no when he keeps coming at me? When he keeps giving me that look? I'm only human.

Kelly answered by brushing her lips to his. She groaned when his tongue pushed forward into her mouth. Their tongues danced as he lifted her, her legs wrapping around his waist. Moments kissing him felt like an eternity but then he laid her on the bed, covering her body with his. The heat between them burned Kelly's skin. God, is he pure muscle? When they broke for breath she smiled, slowly undoing the buttons of the flannel shirt. James slid it off her shoulders with ease, his lips curling into a smile as his hands slid down along her arms then up her torso with no other garments obstructing his view. Again their lips met and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

James pulled back for a minute, standing up and shedding his trousers. Kelly's eyes watched his then trailed down his torso then…Oh God. Her lips curled into a grin as he lay in between her legs. She kissed his lips then his neck, both of them groaning as he entered her. Her head fell back against the bed as his thrusts began slowly then quickened. Kelly wrapped her legs around James' torso and dug her fingers into his back. "Don't stop," she breathed, "God don't stop."

She began to feel that familiar tingling as her breathing increased rapidly. Oh God. Oh God. As she cried out, her whole body shook and he followed moments later. But his wasn't a cry of pleasure but a yell of pain. What the hell? He wouldn't stop. That moment Kelly shot up, staring into the blackness of the cabin. Shit. That was an intense dream, well fantasy, whatever. Throwing on her jeans, she rushed out towards the couch to check on him.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Nightmares

James was back in the chair. He sat there, men and women in lab coats all around him. "Come now Sergeant Barnes, you didn't think you could leave did you?"

He looked up to see Zola standing there, smiling. "You are our greatest weapon. You've already shaped the century and now must continue. More threats have been uncovered."

Nodding to another lab coat, Zola stepped towards him, "This may hurt a bit but only for a second. You're already accustomed to it."

The lab coat pushed him backward and the arm band clamped down on his right arm. He struggled this time, refusing to put in the mouth guard. "Restrain him!" Zola yelled.

James roared, throwing one of them back into the machinery and squeezing the throat of the next one approaching him. Zola pushed his head back and let the machine have him. When the volts began, he screamed in pain. He grabbed Zola by the throat, seeing the fear in his eyes. Only the more he stared the more he saw they weren't Zola's eyes. They were Kelly's.

Sitting up, he loosened his grip as she dropped to the floor, coughing. "Guess I—shouldn't try to— wake you from —your nightmares— from now on" she said, gasping for air.

James saw the red around her neck, bound to bruise from his tight grip. He stood up quickly then grabbed her shirt, helping her to her feet. "Why are you out here?"

"You were the one shouting," She said, taking a breath, "I came to check on you."

Putting her hands on her knees and breathing, she looked up at him, "What exactly did you dream about that you almost killed me…again?"

He looked her over, ensuring she had no more damage then said, "The chair."

She raised an eyebrow and glanced from the arm chair then back to him, "A chair makes you want to kill me? Remind me to sit on the couch from now on."

"No. The chair in the lab where I gave mission reports," he said, "the one that wiped my memories."

"Oh," she said, "I'm sorry. I hoped you were getting more good dreams than bad," she paused, "Just wondering, you were so wrapped up in your nightmare you didn't hear anything from me, right?"

He shot her a glance and she said, "Good, that's a no then."

James backed away from her, standing in front of the window. Kelly came from behind and put a hand on his shoulder but he yanked himself away. Sighing she said, "Sorry. Thought you wanted my help, my mistake."

"Wait" she heard from behind as she started to leave the room.

Turning back to face him, he still faced the window. Then he slowly turned and met her eyes. "Stay."

"I don't know" she said, "How do I know I'll be safe? I almost choked to death saving you from a nightmare."

"Please."

Kelly glanced from the ground to him, staying silent for a moment. Stepping forward, she closed the distance and stood next to him. "Why don't you take the bed and I'll sleep out here? Maybe dreams will be better in there." They sure as hell were for me.

He didn't answer just turned and went. Kelly followed, watching as he slid under the covers. "Okay, well…good night."

"Where are you going?"

"To bed…" Kelly answered.

"You don't need to leave for that."

She inhaled. Oh God. I can't. Not after that last dream. I can't do this. Swallowing she said, "I should give you some space. You can get better dreams in here and I…well I'd be okay with some nightmares at this point."

"I need you."

Kelly felt her stomach drop. Oh God. No. No no no no. "Don't say that. You'll be fine."

Turning to leave, she only made a few steps before she was hoisted over his shoulder and landed on the bed. Holy shit! This can't be happening! James pushed himself back next to her, lying on his back and closing his eyes. She swallowed, leaning back on the pillow but keeping ample space between them. "Good night" he said.

"Good night" she replied. It won't be for me. God knows it won't be for me.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Broken Cycle

Thump. Thump. Thump. Kelly's heart pounded in her chest. James was literally inches away, eyes closed and trying to sleep. At least he can. Thump. Thump. Thump. She tried to think of anything to help her get back to sleep but every time she closed her eyes the dream resurfaced. His lips on hers, his warmth, everything about it felt entirely real. God. Glancing at him in the darkness, she couldn't see anything but the outline of his body.

What can I do to get to sleep? Okay there's always counting sheep. 1. 2. 3. 4. Shit; this is not working. Staring at the ceiling, she took a deep breath. Ok deep breaths might work. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Kelly's heartbeat still maintained its rapid pace. Why the hell does he want me here? I swear I'm like his God damned rabbit's foot as is and now I'm a dream catcher? At this point I don't know if I can handle anymore. And not to mention of course the nerve he had to toss me over his shoulder like that even if I did find it kind of sexy. I need to stop. She groaned inwardly.

Minutes ticked by. Tick. Tick. Timed in with her heartbeat, it almost had a rhythm. Tick. Thump. Thump. Tick. Thump. Tick. Kelly rolled over, back facing him. Tick. Tick. Thump. Thump. She rolled again. God he's so close. I could touch him and…no! Don't even think about it! Rolling back over she sighed. Hours dragged on but eventually her heartbeat slowed and she fell into a semi sleep.

When she woke, James wasn't next to her. Sitting up, she stretched her neck from side to side before tossing her feet over the edge. Picking up her jeans, she groaned. These need to be washed ASAP. She went into the closet and scoured for something else to put her legs in, grabbing another flannel shirt in the process. On the very bottom, she found a pair of swim trunks that tied. Putting them on, she laughed. Well aren't I stylish? I don't think I'll ever be wearing Hawaiian shorts with flannel ever again.

Kelly walked out of the room and tossed the dirty clothes in the bathroom next to the tub. Hand washing clothes in a bathtub instead of using a washing machine like normal people? Check. I can't wait. Reaching the main room, she found James standing in front of the window, staring outside. Without a second to react, James grabbed her, pushing her roughly onto the couch. "Whoa!" she exclaimed, "What the hell?"

Hostile eyes staring back at her she threw up her hands and said, "Hey, I said I had good dreams in there. I didn't guarantee it."

"Why are you doing this? What's your mission?"

"My mission?" Kelly answered, eyes staring back at him quizzically, "What the hell are you talking about?"

James swiftly backhanded her and she put a hand to her now red cheek in shock. "Look, you're the one who wanted me next to you last night. I was going to come out here. What the hell is this all about?"

He gritted his teeth and said, "Why are you here?" Grabbing her arm he snarled, "What makes you so special that you think you can stop the Winter Soldier?"

"I'm not here to stop you I'm—"

James yanked her up and shoved her against the door, knife suddenly appearing at her throat. "There's nothing about you that is remotely special. You're nothing. No one. Why are you here?"

"You're right," Kelly swallowed, eyes staring right back into his, "I'm no one. I'm just a random bystander along for the ride. So if you're going to use that, do it. Stop messing around."

He watched her then stepped back, turning back towards the window. "I don't understand," he said dejectedly, "I don't understand how one person can render another useless."

Leaning her back against the door, she answered, "You seem to do that to me just fine just by strength alone."

James eyes darted to hers, glazed and wide, like a lost puppy. Kelly felt the knot in her chest but looked away. "You know I had hoped we could go a day without you trying to kill me…"she said, shaking her head and walking back towards the bathroom.

"Wait" he said pleadingly as he turned to her.

"We can't keep doing this," she said and shook her head, "It's bad enough HYDRA now wants me dead but I can't go every day with you wanting to kill me one minute then begging me to be next to you the next."

James glanced to the floor, slowly nodding. Kelly felt her chest constrict. He looked so lost and she couldn't bear to look at him. She stepped toward him but still left some space between them just in case he did another 180. "Look,  
she began, "I don't know who you used to be or even who you were brainwashed to be. It doesn't even matter. Let me tell you the James I know from this past week. The James I know ignored orders to kill a man because he recognized him. He let a girl live he just met because she reminded him of a lost sister. He relies totally on instinct and has saved my life as many times as he's tried to take it. And I know without a doubt that he'll keep fighting what he was programmed to do because deep down, he's wired as a good man," she smiled, pausing a second before remembering the shorts, "That probably would've been so much better if I wasn't wearing these ridiculous things."

She chuckled before glancing to the bathroom and back at him, "Well those jeans aren't gonna clean themselves so…"Turning on her heel, she bee lined towards the bathroom but first heard from behind, "Thank you."

Peeking back over her shoulder, she flashed him a wide smile, "Anytime."

Going back to the clothes, she went in and quickly filled the tub with water then put the clothes in. She started scrubbing away, smiling to herself. Except for the constant almost dying parts, this week has actually been kind of exciting with him. Still crazy, but exciting too. She just finished a shirt when she heard, "I'm sorry for what I said."

Kelly lifted her eyes to see him standing in the doorframe, leaning to one side and watching her. "You said a lot of things but it's fine. I mean, you were right about a couple things," she hung the shirt over the curtain rod, "I'm not special. I really am a nobody. You're definitely not the first person to tell me that."

Kneeling back down, she continued to wash her jeans. "Who told you that?"

Again she looked up, but this time Kelly saw the anguish in his expression. "My ex," she said, hanging up the jeans, "Only my parents thought I was worth believing in but they died a long time ago. I had friends in college but we've drifted and now I'm more of a loner," she turned to face him then said, "You don't need to feel sorry for me. I don't. I'm me and that's enough. I get by and I live. That's all anyone can ask for."

"But you are special" James said, "You're the only one to help me remember."

"That's not true," she said, stepping toward him, "Steve has too."

Shaking his head, "But that's different. He's someone I knew from my past. Everyone else is long since dead. But you," he said and closed the remaining distance between them, "I barely know you and still I remember more when you're around than before. You're worth more than you think."

Kelly smiled and looked away, feeling her cheeks redden. "Thank you" she replied.

They stood silent a moment, but she could feel his gaze on her. She looked up to find James staring but with a more thoughtful glance. "Tell me about your life" he said glancing from her lips back to her eyes.

"What do you want to know?" she asked.

"Everything," he said. "I want to know you."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Kelly

"Okay…" Kelly said, "But if we're going to do this, I want to at least sit down."

Squeezing past him, she walked out and sat in the armchair, sitting sideways and pulling her legs in close. He followed, sitting across from her on the couch.

"First off, I want to say I have a really uninteresting life so you'll probably get bored…" she said, "but you asked. So here it goes Oprah."

James raised an eyebrow to that remark and she chuckled, "Sorry, I forgot. She's a famous talk show host who's interviewed practically everyone."

He nodded and waited. Sighing, Kelly said, "Where to begin? Well, I come from a small family. No siblings, just me. I grew up in a small town in Wisconsin but not on the farm or anything like that. My parents died when I was 12 from a car accident, so I went to live with my grandmother in Chicago. She passed away right before I turned 18, so after I graduated I was on my own. I moved to New York City to be a successful writer and go to college but I only succeeded with one of the two. Since I wasn't getting anywhere there, I came to D.C. since politics sell and there is always something to write about. It helped to keep my blog going anyway. I started it in college and between that and writing freelance for some newspapers, that's how I pay the bills."

Chuckling at his look of befuddlement she added, "A blog is basically an online journal that anyone can read from a computer. I let them put advertisements on mine so I get paid to write."

"What do you write about?"

Kelly shrugged, "Anything really. For newspapers I mainly write about politics but on my blog I post film reviews, book reviews…anything," she sighed, "What I really want to do is get a novel published. I have a few manuscripts at my apartment but also a lot of rejection letters. Guess I don't have what any publishing house is looking for."

"What kind of manuscripts?"

She felt he cheeks flush. "The only ones I thought would sell," she chuckled, "romance novels."

James' lips curled into a smile. "You write about heroes winning the damsel in distress?"

Kelly laughed, "Ha! How times have changed. Romance novels are different now. They have to have so much more than a weak minded woman won over by the alpha male. Now there's more development of characters. People are flawed and sometimes the female is the dominant one."

His look of amusement caused her to giggle more, "Okay okay not the greatest but I just wanted to do something for me. Since my parents died I've just wanted to make them proud. Writing is the only thing I've ever had the slightest bit of talent in so I guess I hoped I could really do something great with it" she paused a second then added, "Besides, maybe I'm just a romantic at heart. I think everyone deep down is looking for that moment where they can just look at someone and know it's real and…" She glanced at him then away, blushing from his gaze, "See? There I go. You sure you want me rambling on?"

James raised his eyebrows and Kelly laughed again. "Okay okay, you asked for it," sighing she asked, "What else? Maybe simple stuff? My favorite color is blue. I'm a Virgo. My worst habit is nail biting. Uh…I hate oysters. They make me do this," she stuck out her tongue and made an exaggerated gagging noise.

Then something totally amazing happened. She heard a rumbling come from him. She made the Winter Soldier laugh. His smiled shone so bright she felt blinded. Kelly grinned wider than ever, "Oh my God! You can laugh? I thought that was a lost cause. You're always so…serious."

He smiled slightly then said, "You reminded me how."

"Glad I can be comic relief," she said, smiling back, "Tell me what else you want to know. I really just hate talking about myself."

James was quiet for a moment. Leaning forward with his forearms on his knees he asked, ""Why did you talk to me at the exhibit? No one else dared to."

Kelly shrugged, "I guess I just like to make conversation. Also you looked like you might shoot up the building so I wanted to try to deter you if I could. Save lives, be a hero, you know. So far I haven't saved anyone."

"You did save someone," he said, staring at her.

Blushing again, she chuckled and said, "I don't know where all the compliments are coming from but my face looks horrible in red so please stop."

They sat quiet for a few moments then Kelly said, "There is… one thing I should tell you. My grandfather on my Dad's side, well he was in WWII at the very same camp you came back to after Steve rescued you and everyone else. I remember him telling me the story over and over. He didn't get to see your triumphant march back in because he was in the infirmary, but he told me it was an amazing moment. No one thought Steve could do it and yet you both are here, now. It's so crazy but really neat at the same time."

"What was his name?"

"Joseph Kowalski, a Private from Chicago."

James leaned back and then said, "I think I recognize that name."

Kelly smiled. "That was my grandpa. He was a great man. Never went a day without smiling. He and I were very close until he passed shortly after my grandmother."

Kelly's eyes downcast, remembering her grandfather. Again they were quiet. Their eyes met off and on and it was her eyes that always had to glance away. He didn't stare with cold harsh eyes any longer but with warm and soft ones. She couldn't stare too long because she already knew what would happen. Who am I kidding? It IS happening. I like him. I more than like him. We have to get out of this cabin. Being cooped up like this isn't helping.

Standing rather quickly, Kelly said, "Well I think that's enough deep conversation for one day. I'll uh...go make us something to eat."

James merely nodded as she headed to the kitchen. Kowalski. I know that name. He kept trying to remember but nothing came. It would eventually, he knew it. She kept his nightmares at bay last night and brought out other memories before. It will come, he just needed her with him.

"So," she called from the kitchen, causing him to glance up, "The choices are macaroni and cheese or macaroni and cheese. What do you think? Macaroni and cheese?" she peeked her head out from the kitchen with a wide grin before returning.

Kelly stood over the stove, still grinning and biting her lip at the same time. He smiled. He laughed. It's like he's turning into a completely different person. All because I told him about me? But I barely have anything good to tell! Oh boy. I'm acting like a high school girl with a crush. She groaned inwardly. No. No. It's only been a week plus some. There's no way in hell I could—no. Don't you dare say it. You don't l—Ahrgh! She leaned against the stove. I am so, so screwed.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Thoughts

James sat on the couch as she cooked, thinking. He still couldn't remember Kowalski but he felt as if somehow he should. The way her eyes lit up when talking about him peaked his curiosity. Hearing Kelly talk about her life helped him think about his. He wanted to know more, especially after this morning. How can she think she's worthless? Who is this 'ex' who made her believe it? Without her, I'd be back at that lab, wiped clean again. Gritting his teeth, he shook that thought away. The last thing he wanted to think of was the chair. Standing, he approached the kitchen. Leaning against the frame, he watched her stir the noodles in complete concentration.

"Why did he say that?" James asked, causing her to drop the spoon.

"Can you not with the stealth? I'm already on edge," Kelly replied as she turned to face him, "Why did who say what?"

"You said your ex called you worthless" he said, watching her pick up the spoon and place it in the sink.

"I think the better question is why he wouldn't," she answered, grabbing a different spoon from the drawer.

"Tell me" he said.

Kelly's shoulders tensed. She stared at the noodles then glanced at him, "There's…there's not much to tell."

She went to grab the strainer from the counter but he already held it. Handing it to her, she grasped for it but he held firm. Watching her eyes meet his, James said, "You said you'd tell me everything."

Kelly watched him for a second then lowered her eyes, "Okay, okay" she began before looking back up at him, "I'll tell you. But can I at least get these noodles off the stove before they burn?"

James released his grasp on the colander and she took it. As he watched her pour the noodles into the strainer in the sink, he questioned why she avoided the subject. She was eager to share everything just not this. Why?

Finishing up, Kelly grabbed two bowls and served out the mac and cheese. Holding out a bowl in front of her, James glanced at it then back at her. "Really?" she sighed and set the bowl down, "Fine, back to the chair then."

James followed her, sitting back onto the couch. He watched as she ran a hand nervously through her hair and said, "I don't know why you're so insistent."

"Why are you so hesitant?"

She looked away from him, letting some hair fall in front of her face. Still he saw something there, hidden in her eyes that he'd never seen before. Her eyes dimmed and looked slightly glassy. He didn't know what it could be but he also knew he didn't like it.

"Even though it's been a long time, it still hurts thinking about it" she said then sighed before lifting her eyes back to his, "but you're right. I did say I'd tell you everything about me. I guess that includes the parts I'd rather forget."

Running a hand through her hair once more she said, "Jacob was a big part of my life a few years ago. We dated for 2 years before that and it was great. I thought it was anyway. I even thought for awhile he might propose but I guess I was wrong," she glanced at the floor then back to him, "See, Jacob had a little problem with alcohol. Whenever he'd get drunk, he'd get mean. He'd say things and even though he wouldn't remember in the morning, I would. And as much as he'd say he didn't mean it, I always knew he was the most honest when he was drunk. But I still stuck by him. I always thought it would get better."

James met her eyes, and felt a surge of anger pulse through his veins. Balling his fists, he remembered his own father's addiction to the drink and the words he'd said to him while inebriated. He cursed constantly and blamed him for his mother and sister's deaths'. At the end of the day, his father loved the drink more than his own son. His father drank so much, it finally killed him. James hadn't shed a tear for him either, just continued on with his life.

"Are you okay?" she asked, glancing from his fists back up to his face and leaning back into the chair.

"This Jacob and my father share the same problem" he said, relaxing his fists, "What was his reason?"

Kelly looked away for a minute then replied, "To call me worthless? Oh you know, I'm not stick thin so I should work out more or writing isn't an actual career but a hobby or my personal favorite, I don't give him what he needs in the bedroom."

James looked at her from head to toe, stunned by the man's lack of sight. Her body rounded off in all the places it should. Her eyes were as blue as the Atlantic and although her hair was a bit disheveled, the way it fell across her shoulders in golden waves reminded him of rays of sunlight. But his eyes fell on her soft lips that were parted ever so slightly, reminding him of the alley where he tasted her. Why on earth would any man want to change how she looks?

Sighing, she continued, "So like I was saying, I just kind of let it all slide. But then I caught him with my best friend in the shower. Which, you know, is now a common plot device used all the time in romantic comedies now so... God my life is a movie. Typical. Guy cheats on girl, girl gets broken heart and never wants to feel anything again."

"She's no friend if she would do that" James said.

Kelly laughed and he raised his eyebrows. She flashed him a smile for a brief second before it disappeared when she said, "By best friend, I meant best guy friend. His name's Tim."

His eyes grew wide in surprise. She chuckled at his reaction then sighed. "So it's bad enough I repulsed him as a person but also by my gender."

James eyes rested on her crestfallen face. "He's a jerk and also wrong" he said.

Kelly offered a weak smile, "Thanks but, he is a little right. I mean, sure writing pays my bills but it is kind of a hobby. And even though I haven't dated in the last few years since Jacob I've seen to my…needs and none of those guys ever call again. Hell, you tried to kill me more than once so I must not be the best people person."

James leaned forward and stared at her as he said, "Do you know why I haven't?"

"My incredible wit?" she said, smiling for a second.

Their eyes met and he didn't falter. But like always, she glanced away after a few seconds then returned to his gaze. After a moment or two of silence he said, "You remind me not only of who I was but who I can be again. Every memory I've gotten back is muddled and broken. They come in spurts but they're still coming. But you…you're the only thing that's here, that's real."

James watched her swallow and look at him. "Why are you saying all this to me?" she asked.

He stared at her quizzically for a moment. "I thought you understood," he said, "You're the only one who has made me forget my mission," he paused for a moment, "I need you."

"You don't need me," she said, blinking and shaking her head as she stood, "I should go get our food."

James stood quickly, grabbing her hand and pulling her back toward him. Chest to chest, he felt her breath quicken against him. Her eyes met him, wide with surprise and uncertainty. "Yes I do" he said.

"Okay, you need me" she said, looking up at him then glancing downward towards his mouth. Shaking herself out of it, Kelly lifted her eyes back to him, "Let's eat and then uh—we'll talk more. Just please, no more deep conversations."

James nodded, letting her go back into the kitchen. He felt her warmth still even as it faded. He still wanted her but for her sake abided by her request. Still, he sensed something off. Her increased nervousness and avoidance of being near to him struck him as odd. What's she hiding?


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Memories

Kelly hid in the kitchen for a few minutes. Tilting her head back, she closed her eyes. Leaning back against the counters, she squeezed her eyes shut tighter. Her thoughts wandered and she remembered her last fight with Jacob.

"How could you do this to me?" she cried, "I thought we were finally doing better!"

"Better?" he shouted, "You've got to be fucking kidding me! All you do is write all the time. You care more about your fictional characters than me. I shouldn't have to fight for my girlfriend's attention with a computer!"

"Oh my god, don't even start that! You know it's my job to write anyway and I'm trying to get a book published" she shouted back.

"Newsflash Kelly, no one wants to read your shitty novel. All the rejection letters you got? Yeah. Why hasn't it sunk in yet?" he said.

"I can't believe you. You're blaming me? You're fucking Tim!" she said.

"Yeah well at least he's got a killer bod and gives me what I need" he countered.

Shaking her head she said, "It's over."

"Damn right it is. Don't know why I stuck with you. You're worthless! No one will ever want you again!" Without another word, she turned and left.

Coming back to the present, Kelly wiped her eyes from the couple tears that fell and picked up the bowls. Exhaling a second, she headed back out into the room and handed James his bowl. Neither of them talked much for a bit, just ate in silence. James studied her face, noticing the slight trace of wetness on her eyelashes. Did she cry? Why? He wanted to ask but she requested that they don't share any further conversation about that Jacob and as curious as he was, he respected her wishes.

After awhile she looked at him and said, "I'm sorry, about your father. Being around someone who drinks excessively is no treat."

James met her gaze and said, "When you talked about that Jacob, it all came flooding back, the curses he said to me, everything."

He gritted his teeth as she gently placed a hand on his. "Hey," she began, "It's one of those memories we wish we could forget. But on the plus side, you're remembering."

"Because of you," he said.

Kelly removed her hand and said, "Yeah, well, don't give me all the credit."

Again they were quiet. They met each other's eyes occasionally but then Kelly would glance away. After what seemed like forever, the sun went down. Finally she yawned and said, "I think I'm going to go to bed. Good night."

Dropping her bowl off in the kitchen first, Kelly walked down the hallway and went into the bedroom. About to change shirts, she felt a breeze. Turning, she saw him standing there. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"I didn't dream about the chair last night" he said.

"Oh," she said, "So you want to stay in here again? Okay…so am I taking the couch then?"

James shook his head.

"I figured after last night you wouldn't let me try again," she said then sighed, "Fine just can you please turn around for a second so I can change?"

Kelly turned back toward the wall and lifted the shirt she wore over her head and placed a different flannel over her. Without another word, she scooted under the covers. James removed the flannel shirt he wore before lying next to her. He just closed his eyes when he heard, "James?"

Opening them, he turned his head to face her. Kelly propped herself up on one elbow, "Thank you for asking me about Jacob. I didn't really want to say anything but now that I have I feel…well better. So, thanks."

He didn't say anything and she lay back down within moments. "Good night" she whispered.

The next morning, James woke with the sun. Only a tiny ray made its way through. As his eyes adjusted, it took him a moment to also realize the weight on his arm and part of his chest. Glancing down, he saw Kelly curled into him, still asleep. A few strands of hair fell over her shut eyelids and her lips were curled into a half smile. He watched her completely still with a smile but it didn't matter because she suddenly moved and her eyes blinked open. She looked to see him looking at her then saw where she lay. Pulling back immediately she said, "Whoa I'm so sorry! I must've gotten cold or something in the night I—it won't happen again."

James merely flashed a smile, causing her to raise her eyebrows and say, "What?"

"I remember."

Kelly's eyes widened, "Everything?"

"Not everything," he replied as he sat up, "But more. More things are fitting together."

"That's great. I'm glad," she replied, "More good memories than bad I hope?"

"Many more," he replied.

"Like what?" she asked.

Smiling James answered, "One time I took Steve to Coney Island. I made him ride the Cyclone and he threw up."

Kelly laughed then teased, "You're so mean!"

He chuckled, "Is it still there?"

"Coney Island?" she asked.

James nodded.

"Yeah it is," she said, "I've never been but I've heard it's still pretty cool. It's a place I wouldn't mind seeing though."

"You should see it," he said, "I'll take you on the Cyclone."

Kelly laughed, "Just to see me throw up? I don't think I have as weak of a stomach as Steve but if I do you're going to win me a huge teddy bear, deal?"

James said nothing only grinned.

Tilting her head she said after a minute, "You're not kidding are you? You want to go…with me?"

He looked at her then said, "Why not?"

"Oh I don't know," Kelly said, "Maybe because all of HYDRA is looking for both of us. Not to mention you'd be a total cheat at some games with a metal arm."

He chuckled then said, "We won't be hiding forever."

She smiled and stayed quiet a few moments. "If you really want me to see it," she said, "I'll go with you."

James grinned widely, causing her to blush and look away. He remembered Coney Island well. Not only did he and Steve go, but he also took any girls he was interested in there. Both he and Steve rode the rollercoaster and other thrill rides but with the girls he'd always end up at the shooting gallery. He remembered winning one time there for another girl he'd seen. She had cheered him on, kissing him on the cheek when he'd won for her. James wondered if Kelly would do the same but even more determined to find out.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Progress

Three more days passed, each almost the same as the last. Each day James woke up with more memories seeping into his consciousness and each night he kept Kelly close. With her next to him, he hadn't had another nightmare of the chair or losing everything he finally regained. But when he dreamt now, he not only remembered bits of his past but also dreamt of her.

The last dream James remembered was seeing her in the kitchen, looking up just as he walked in. She was in the middle of cooking but dropped the spoon she was holding when she saw him. Almost immediately, Kelly threw her arms around him and he picked her up, twirling her around. When he finally set her down, her radiant smile shone brightly. "You're home finally!" she said, "Are we going to go then?"

"Yes we are," he said with a grin, "I do believe there is a giant teddy bear that is meant to be yours."

She squealed with delight then said, "Let me go change. I'll be quick!" she ran off then peeked out for one second, "Can you please turn off the burner first? Don't want to burn the place down."

James woke up shortly thereafter, opening his eyes and smiling. He looked to the side of him to find the non dream version fast asleep in the crook of his arm. Her hair was soft against his shoulder, and he kept her in place with his hand on her chest. Her cheek rested against his bicep and her lips still curled into a smile. No matter what Hydra throws at us, she's not going anywhere.

Hours later, Kelly was awake and sitting next to him on the couch. "So you're telling me," She said, "That you have almost all of your memories back?"

"Yes" he answered.

"I can't believe it…I mean it's only been what a week, two now? That's amazing" she said, "What else is missing or is that the part you don't know?"

"I can't remember much about before I fell or after I was programmed. There's a lot I can't remember with the Howling Commandos" he replied.

Kelly sighed, "Maybe it's time you should find Steve. He could answer all those questions for you."

James shook his head, "Not yet."

"But he could probably fill in the rest," she said, "Why don't you want to? What are you waiting for?"

James looked at the ground then back to her, "Maybe I'm not ready to remember the specifics to why I became like this," he held up his metal hand.

Kelly nodded, "Okay," she said, "Forget I asked. Let's talk about something else."

He looked at her and asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

She thought a few moments then said, "Okay so this is a little out of left field but... what exactly did you do for fun in the forties?" Kelly asked, leaning back on the couch.

"We'd listen to the radio, go see a show or go dancing" he replied.

"Dancing?" she chuckled as she looked at him in his flannel with the metal hand peeking out from the sleeve, "I can't picture you dancing."

"I did, all the time."

"But you guys danced the nice way. If you could see the dancing now, you might be surprised."

James laughed then stood. "What are you doing?" she asked, watching him pull something from the corner. Although she couldn't see at first, when he moved she saw a record player. He turned it on and set the vinyl record in place. Turning back to her as the music started he held out a hand. Kelly laughed, "What is this? Middle school?"

"Dance with me" he said.

Chuckling, she rolled her eyes then took his hand. James put one hand on her lower back and the other in her hand, leaving distance between their chests. He stared at her, smiling. Slowly they began to dance with the song, moving about the small little bit of the room. She blushed at his gaze, having to look away a few different times.

"You're pretty good at this" she said, smiling up at him.

"What? Dancing? I told you I had a lot of practice" he said, giving her a small twirl around before bringing her back in close.

"That," Kelly said, placing her hand back in his, "And also being devastatingly charming. I bet you had all the girls paraded around you."

"I had my fair share, yes," he chuckled.

"Poor Steve," she said, grinning.

"He only cared about getting into the war" he answered.

"You didn't?" she cocked an eyebrow.

"I did it to make a difference" he said, looking down at her.

She nodded, pausing a few moments before she asked, "So if you just went dancing did you dance all night?"

"Yes."

"You never got tired?" she asked, grinning.

"Sometimes. Other times I never wanted the night to end," he answered.

Kelly stared up at him, loving the sparkle back in his blue eyes. "And at the end of the night?" she asked, almost in a whisper.

Their eyes stayed on each other. James' drifted from her eyes to her lips and back again. "At the end of the night… I did this," he said, lowering his head towards hers.

Suddenly James reared his head back and pushed her behind him, protecting her. Pulling out a gun, he aimed it towards the door just as a red haired woman busted inside. Staring down the barrel of his gun, James squinted then said, "Natasha?"


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Old Friends

"Well I'll be damned," Natasha said, still keeping her gun on him, "He might remember after all."

James still held his gun on her as he saw Steve come in, shield first, from behind her. "Bucky?"

"It's me Steve" he answered.

"Okay okay, no standoffs please," Kelly said as stepped in front of James. He didn't let her go far because he wrapped his metal arm around her waist and aimed the gun over her shoulder. First he tries to kill me now he's overprotective. I can't win. Looking to Steve and Natasha she said, "Took you two long enough to find us. You bugged everything I had. I even thought you had a tracking device hidden in my clothes or something."

"We had some misdirection and some obstacles…but we made it," Steve said before looking at his friend, "Is it true Buck? You remember?"

"Except for a few bits and pieces yes," he answered.

Kelly glanced from James to Steve, "You two should talk. Natasha and I can chat for a bit."

Glancing back at her and shrugging, Natasha said, "Sure. Girl time."

She lowered her gun first, holstering it. James followed suit, loosening his grip on Kelly. She turned to face him, seeing him glance back and forth between her and Steve. "You'll be fine," she said reassuringly, "Now go. You're almost there. Even if there's bits you don't want, at least you'll have all your memories."

James smiled down at her before he walked towards Steve. She smiled, turning towards Natasha and gesturing towards the couch. "I just want to say," Kelly began as they walked together, "When it comes to girl talk, I'm a bit of an amateur."

Natasha chuckled as they both sat down. "I know what you mean," She said, "With my lifestyle I haven't exactly been the 'let's do our nails and talk about boys' type."

"Well good," Kelly replied, "Then I don't feel so bad."

She glanced over at James, who leaned against the wall, deep in conversation with Steve. She caught his eyes and smiled, then blinked and looked back at Natasha, who was grinning at her. "He likes you too, you know" she said.

"Huh?" Kelly asked.

"You're not as subtle as you think. Neither is he for that matter."

Looking toward Natasha she said, "Yeah but it's not like that. I mean I do, sure but for him…I'm just a good luck charm. I bring back memories," she glanced at him again and sighed before turning her face back, "I know there's no happy ending for me. But that's okay. I just want him to be happy. He deserves it."

Natasha tilted her head then asked, "You just don't think it's with you?"

"I know it's not," Kelly answered, "Every moment that could've been like that only happened because it sparked another memory. He's about to have them all back so…he doesn't need me anymore," she glanced downward before turning back to her, "So, how do you know him? He called you by name."

Natasha chuckled, "So you did catch that," pausing a moment she asked, "I'm sure as a writer about politics you know all about the information I released on the internet," Kelly nodded and she went on, "Did you read any of it?"

"Some," she said, "But honestly it was too much to delve through, even to write an awesome article. But what's that got to do with you and James?"

"Part of the information that was released was my previous missions and basically my resume so to speak," Natasha said, "When I wasn't with SHIELD, I used my particular skill set for anyone who paid. But before that, I needed to learn how. So, long before he became the weapon they made him to be, he was my trainer."

Kelly's eyes widened and she sat backward. "So you're telling me James taught you how to basically kick ass?"

She chuckled, "Something like that."

"Okay, but that doesn't explain why he called you by your first name."

"You don't miss a thing do you," she said as she leaned into the arm of the couch, "The truth is, we spent some time together."

"Oh," Kelly replied upon the realization, "You two were…together together?"

Natasha nodded.

"Well this just got awkward," she said.

Chuckling, Natasha said, "The past is in the past now though. I'm glad he's found someone like you."

Kelly digested it all for a moment. Wow. I'm sitting here with James' ex. Can't say I saw that one coming. But she doesn't sound like she's too interested anymore AND she said keeps looking at me like…like he likes me. Is that even possible? Curling her lips into a grin she said, "Well now that we got the gossiping about boys out of the way, what's next? Hair?"

Natasha just laughed.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Moving On

Steve and Bucky were in the kitchen, Steve leaning on the counter and Bucky on the wall. "I can't believe you remember Buck" Steve said, "A week ago, you barely recognized me, shot me and let me fall from a helacarrier."

Bucky chuckled, "I still pulled you out of the water, just like that one time at the beach."

Steve laughed, "You had to bring that up," pausing a second he asked, "How is it you are able to remember so much? I haven't seen you since and then you barely believed me."

Bucky glanced over to Kelly, catching her eyes. They both smiled before she blinked and looked away, continuing her conversation. "I had a little help," he admitted.

Steve glanced down, smiling before looking back at his friend, "I knew there was something she wasn't telling me and I'm starting to feel like there's something you're not telling," he smiled and a second before he said, "I just don't understand. Has she been with you this whole time?"

"No," Bucky replied, looking back at Steve, "After I pulled you out, I went to the exhibit about you, us. I wanted to find out more and she was just there. She just started talking to me, not walking away like everyone else. After she left, I thought she was a threat so I followed her. I saved her from a mugger before almost choking her to death. Then it happened. I was holding her up and the way she looked at me, her eyes wide, it just hit me. She reminded me of Rebecca."

"Your sister?" he asked.

Bucky nodded.

"That's amazing" Steve said, "All from her eyes? That's…I can't even think of a word."

"You and thinking of words about girls never went hand in hand well," he said.

"Jerk."

"Punk," Bucky said, grinning.

Sighing Steve said, "Well, you think you're ready to fight with us? Hydra is still out there. I could use your help."

He glanced back at Kelly before returning his eyes to his friend. Steve smiled and nodded, "You want to know what's going to happen to her. Well, Hydra is still after both of you. She'll have come with us."

"I will?" they heard from behind, seeing Kelly and Natasha right there.

Steve turned to face them then said, "Hydra won't be far behind. Our best course of action is to get out of here and find a safe location."

"And where's that?" Kelly asked.

"SHIELD's backup headquarters," Natasha said, "It's in Europe and that way we'd be out of Hydra's sights, for now at least."

"Whoa. Whoa. Europe?" Kelly asked, "First off, I don't even have a passport. Second, what about my apartment? I haven't been back there since we went over a bridge in a car. It should be safe right?"

Steve and Natasha looked at each other before Steve said, "Your apartment building burned to the ground 3 days ago. Everyone inside didn't make it."

She stepped back, "No. No….that can't be. I didn't know my neighbors all that well but still…they're all dead?" Steve nodded and she covered her mouth with her hand, turning away, "Oh my God. That can't b—It's all my fault."

James, Steve and Natasha looked at each other before James went over to her, gently placing his hands on her shoulders. "You couldn't have known," he whispered.

Turning to face him she said, "It's still my fault. Their blood is on my hands" she ran a hand through her hair then said sarcastically, "Good thing I have renter's insurance."

"You did it to help me" he said.

"I know," Kelly answered, "I just didn't know I was going to get others hurt in the process. I don't regret helping you but I wish those people didn't have to die."

She reached in between his arms and he pulled her to his chest. After a few moments, she sighed and looked at each of them. "How soon are we leaving?"

"Right now," Steve said, standing straight.

As they all headed for the door, Kelly stopped and said, "Wait. I have to return the car I borrowed."

Natasha raised an eyebrow as she glanced at her, "I think that's a little low on the priority list."

"Please," she said, begging, "I need to at least keep a promise to the nice people who helped us. You guys can follow and then we'll all leave together."

Steve nodded, "Then let's get it done" before turning and walking out. She looked around the cabin one last time as she grabbed the keys.

"I think I might miss it," she heard from behind, seeing James standing there in the doorway waiting for her.

"I think I will too. I'm even almost half tempted to leave a note saying thanks," she smiled half-heartedly.

Stepping towards her, James asked, "What is it?"

Sighing, Kelly looked up at him, "I actually did like this place even if we knew it was only temporary. But I can't help but feel like we should split up. I mean, you have Steve and now your memories are practically back so…," she glanced around for a second, "I don't really belong at a super secret spy headquarters but here…here I feel at home. It's the only place I can call that at the moment."

"They're coming for us. If Steve and Natasha found us they would find you if you stayed," he answered, "I don't have all my memories yet. Plus you're still being hunted too. At least together we can handle them," he looked her in the eyes, "It might not be home but you'll be with me. I'll keep you safe."

Raising an eyebrow she said, "Sometimes with you it isn't always safe."

He chuckled, "I already agreed not to try to kill you again."

"Heard that before," she said with a grin, "I'll be out in a second."

James walked out and headed towards the car. She went into the bedroom and changed back into the shirt she wore when she came. Everything almost looked as if they'd never been there. But we were here. Taking one last look around, Kelly sighed. I don't think I'll ever forget this place. Without another glance, she shut the door.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Trap

Kelly walked out to the car twirling the keys around her pointer finger. She smiled when she saw James look over his shoulder and smile to see her walk up. She opened the door, sliding herself into the driver's seat. "You know I'm going to miss this car," she said, starting it up and listening to the engine purr, "I'm not even a car person but this is a really great car."

"It is nice" he grinned at her.

They drove away and Kelly glanced at the cabin fading in the distance. Three hours. That was the length of time before they reached the older couple's home. She turned on the radio to an oldies station and grinned at him. "Remember any of these?"

"A few but not all," he answered while turning to face her, "Are you nervous?"

"To leave this continent? A little, yeah," she admitted, "But I have always wanted to go to Europe," she smiled, "I wonder where the headquarters is. I would really love to see Paris. Seeing the sunset over the Eiffel Tower would be… magical."

Kelly glanced over at him smiling back at her before blushing, "I know I know. I'm a big sap. But for the record, I did tell you I'm a romantic at heart and Paris is the City of Love after all."

"Then we have to go" he answered, his grin only growing wider.

"Will you stop that?" she said.

Chuckling he asked, "What?"

"Looking at me like that," she giggled.

They both laughed and then stayed silent awhile, just listening to the radio. James looked out the window but his gaze always came back to her. She only looked over at him every so often to focus on the road ahead, but still he saw the red still in her cheeks. After all she'd done for him, he'd take her anywhere. Out of the blue, the song that James played on the record player came on. Their eyes met until she blushed and said, "Well that's just…dumb luck isn't it?" smiling she added, "You are a good dancer."

"So are you" he said.

Glancing at him, she said, "Guess we'll have to finish that dance some other time."

James shrugged then smiled and said, "Maybe in Paris."

Kelly grinned and looked at the road. Her cheeks flushed and she said, "Maybe."

Finally they reached the drive and Kelly pulled up to the house. She took off her seatbelt and opened the door. Just as she was about to get out he grabbed her arm. "Wait," he said, looking around, "Something's different."

"How?" she asked, looking around.

"I just have a feeling."

Rolling her eyes she said, "I think I can handle knocking and giving them their car back. They were nice enough to help us I don't think they're the enemy."

"Take this" James said, handing her his gun.

Kelly glanced at it then back up to him, "I don't even know how to use one."

"Just pull the trigger" he answered.

Slowly she took it from his grasp, hiding it in the back of her jeans. "Happy now?" she asked.

"Much. Be careful" James answered.

Walking up the sidewalk, Kelly made it to the front door, knocking just loud enough. The elderly lady opened the door and smiled. "You're back so soon! I hope you are well, dear. Where is your fiancé?"

Smiling she said, "Oh he's in the car. Can we just park it in the garage for you?"

"Of course," she said, "I'll go open it for you."

"Thank you" Kelly said, turning away and heading back towards the car. James already got out and made his way back toward Natasha and Steve. Slipping back in, she started it and drove straight into the garage. Getting out, she handed the keys over to the nice woman. "I can't tell you how grateful I am. I wish there was something I could do for you and your husband" she said.

"How about you come in for a minute?" the kind woman asked.

"Oh I don't know…" Kelly said, glancing back through the door, knowing they were waiting for her.

"Please. We won't keep you long" she said.

Kelly smiled and nodded before she stepped inside. The older lady shut the door then led her to the living room. Inside was a group of 5 men all staring at her. Turning around she said, "What's going on?"

The old woman laughed then her faced changed into that of a younger one like a computer screensaver. "Sorry for the ruse, but we needed you to stay, Fräulein Olsen" the younger woman said.

"Who are you?" she asked with wide eyes, stepping back. Two of the men stood behind her, stopping her from moving further. "What do you want?"

The woman tilted her head and smile menacingly, "I think you know."

Kelly stared at her, lips tight. "You can't have him."

The woman chuckled, "But we already do, thanks to you."

Kelly gritted her teeth, trying to form a plan. Staring ahead she quickly stepped hard on the one man's foot on her left then kneed the other in the groin. Pulling the gun out from her back, she pointed it at the woman and two other men. "Stay back or I'll shoot. Don't make me," she said.

"I wouldn't do that, Fräulein", the woman said/

Kelly stared at her pointed it straight at her head, "Why not?"

The woman signaled to the other men who then took the moment, knocking it away and holding her arms. The woman stepped close and said, "Because you won't like your fate."

Looking to the men she said, "Take her away."

Kelly struggled but to no avail. The two men holding her overpowered her easily. As loud as she could, she screamed "James!"

James heard her scream and bolted towards the door, finding it locked. Kicking it down, he rushed inside, Steve and Natasha behind him. Each took on one man who are almost equally as skilled as them. Steve took out his with his shield and then helped Natasha. James shoved his through the window before rushing into each room calling, "Kelly? Kelly!"

Steve and Natasha searched the other rooms. "Anything?" James asked but they both shook their heads.

"Do you hear that?" Steve asked. Suddenly a whirring noise from above deafened them. James ran outside and looked up to see a helicopter rising in the air. He ran and jumped on top of the car but it was already too high in the air. In the copter he saw a wild eyed Kelly with a gag in her mouth. The gun butt to the side of her head took her down. "Kelly!" James shouted but was drowned out from the sound of the helicopter.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Rescue Mission

Bucky jumped down from the car, landing next to it just as Steve and Natasha reached him. They all looked at each other, collectively knowing the perpetrator. Hydra. Bucky gritted his teeth and balled his fists in fury. The look on her face as they took her away burned into his consciousness. She was afraid and this time not because he was trying to kill her, but because he didn't save her. Looking to each of them he said, "I have to get her back."

"I don't mean to rain on your parade but I'm pretty sure it's a trap" Steve replied.

Natasha nodded in agreement. Bucky eyes drifted to each of them again before he said, "I'm not leaving her in the hands of Hydra. You don't what they'll do to her" remembering the chair and scowling he added, "What they did to me."

Steve put a hand on his friend's shoulder, "We'll get her back Buck; don't worry."

Looking at Bucky, Natasha asked, "Where are they taking her?"

He glanced towards the sky where the helicopter had been before back at her, "Where they kept me. The lab inside of SHIELD."

"They're just bringing you back in. They knew you'd go after her" Natasha said.

"You think I don't know that?" he shouted at her, eyes darting to the ground then closing, "But I can't lose her. Even if it means losing myself."

"That won't happen," Steve said, lightly patting his friend's back, "but we do need a plan."

"Security's tight in the building. I made it in fine last time but that was then" she said then turned to Bucky, "How many on the floor with the lab?"

"10 at least, plus lab coats. More on the other floors" he answered.

"Doesn't sound too hard," Steve said, releasing a small sigh.

Bucky turned to his friend then Natasha, "We get in and get her out. One wrong move and they'll kill her."

"We need to get there before that happens. Let's go" Steve said as they all shuffled into the car. Natasha pushed her foot all the way down, speeding off. She flew down the roads until they made it back into D.C. A few blocks away from the building, Natasha looked back at each of them and said, "They already know we're coming. No need to hide."

"We split up" Steve said.

"I'll take the roof," she said.

"I have the ground floor. Can you make it to the lab through the middle Buck?" he asked.

Bucky nodded, looking at both of them, "Let's get it done."

The three of them disappeared in different directions. Natasha climbed the fire escape ladder of a building two down from the SHIELD one. Running, she jumped the distance onto the building, rolling and taking out the armed guard on the top. He tried to shoot but she knocked it away. Moving quickly she was able to out maneuver him and finally kick him off the roof. Another came from behind, choking her. She flipped him over onto the ground, putting her foot on his throat then pulling out her gun and pulling the trigger. She grabbed the door handle and yanked it open, rushing inside.

Cap put his shield on his back, strutting inside the doors. The guards looked up in surprise then pointed their guns at him immediately. "Guys," he said, putting his hands up, "You don't really want to do this."

Grabbing his shield quickly from off his back, Steve deflected their shots, charging straight into them. He knocked the first one out with his shield before disarming the one coming at him with a kick to the chest. When a third came at him, he tackled him to the ground. Punching him hard, he took the gun and threw it out of reach. He elbowed him to the face then stood, running towards the stairs.

Bucky climbed the wall, using his metal arm to smash in part of the wall with one hard punch. He started shooting before swinging himself inside. Three men came at him. He shot one in the knee and the other in the head. The third ducked, punching him in the gut. Bucky tossed the gun into his right hand and choked the guy with his metal hand. The injured knee guy shot at him but he used the other guy as a shield. Bucky shoved the gunshot filled corpse at the man. The guy fell backward and he stood over him. He shot him twice in the head before rushing towards the lab.

"Hey fellas," Natasha said as she jumped down the staircase, taking out two more guards. She tossed one over the rail as the other shoved her against the wall. She head butted him and then kicked him to his chest. The guy tried to shoot her but she kicked away the gun before spinning and punching him to the jaw. She threw another punch and he blocked but then she grabbed his shoulders and kneed him in the groin. As he sunk to the floor, she gave him a sharp jab from the butt of her gun and kept walking.

Steve made his way up the stairs, blocking the gunfire with his shield. A couple ricochet bullets took out 2 of the men in front but three still advanced on him. He flung his shield at them, knocking them off balance before throwing one over the railing and down a floor. Charging up shield first, Steve knocked them into the wall, landing a punch to the side of one's head and sending him crumpling to the ground. The other tried to use a knife on him but he held up his arm and pushed it back before elbowing him in the nose and flipping him to the ground. The guy grunted as Steve hit him over the head with his shield before returning to the holster on his back.

Bucky grabbed the door handle to the lab with his metal hand, ripping it off. He charged in, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw her. In a chair a few feet away with head tilted to the side and hair disheveled, Kelly sat there, gagged and eyes closed. He swallowed and approached her, kneeling in front of her. He was about to undo the rope on her feet when he heard from behind, "You've returned at last, Sergeant Barnes."

He shot to his feet, pointing his gun at the woman in a white lab coat. "Let her go" he demanded.

The woman chuckled, "You're not in the position to be giving me orders, Sergeant."

Just as he clamped the trigger she grinned and said, "Sputnik."

Within seconds he stopped, dropping the gun and standing there paralyzed. Smiling the woman strutted towards him, crouching and taking the gun from the ground. "That's a good comrade," she said as she stood and turned to the three men who entered behind her. "Prepare to wipe him" she said, grinning at the wide eyed glare of Bucky.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: The Lab

Kelly woke up with a crick in her neck. Lifting her head, she glanced around. Where am I? All around her were machines and bare walls. She tried to move her legs but looked down to find her feet were tied to each leg of the chair and her hands behind her back. She still had the gag in her mouth. The last thing she remembered was being in the chopper and James down below coming after her, then darkness. As she looked up again, she saw the chair and its current occupant. James.

"James" she whispered, "James!" but it only came out as grunts thanks to the gag.

He didn't move. His eyes were closed and he was reclined. Kelly struggled in the chair, trying hard to loosen the ropes. How did they get him? Was it because he was trying to save me? I need to help him and now! As she was struggling, the same woman from the house walked in. "You're awake at last" she said, grinning.

Kelly swallowed and stared at her, keeping her mouth clamped.

"Poor dear, you look like a mess" she said.

Kelly stared up at her, unblinking.

Tilting her head, the woman saw the gag. "Oh my, I'm sorry about that," Slowly she undid the gag, "There. I wouldn't want you to choke on your spit."

As soon as the gag disappeared, she spit on the woman. "Who are you?" She snarled.

"Forgive me; I must have forgotten my manners. I am Dr. Mirnov and I am in charge of the very man who sits before you" she answered, gesturing towards James in the chair.

Glancing from James then back to the doctor Kelly asked, "What do you want with me?"

Dr. Mirnov knelt in front of her, "I thought it was quite clear. You are a threat and therefore must be neutralized. We cannot have our best soldier compromised by some silly fancy. Though I can't imagine what he sees in you" standing back up straight she added, "Regardless, you won't cause grief to this operation for much longer."

"You're going to kill me," Kelly stated, staring at the doctor's expression.

"Yes" she said with a grin.

"So just do it already. What are you waiting for?" Kelly gritted her teeth, staring.

Dr. Mirnov grinned. "I personally am not going to kill you."

"Afraid to get your hands dirty?" she spat.

"Hardly," the doctor answered, grinning before turning kneeling back in front of her, staring her down wrathfully, "I warned you. You would not like your fate if you didn't cooperate. And what did you do? You tried pathetically to try and shoot my men and then me. You deserve far worse than what I can dole out to you."

Standing straight and stepping aside, she walked towards the machine and chair where James sat.

"No!" Kelly screamed with eyes wide in desperation as she struggled. "Leave him alone!" she cried.

Glancing back at her, Dr. Mirnov said, grinning widely, "It's too late for that."

Shoving the mouth guard in James mouth, the doctor flipped the switch on the machine. Kelly saw the headpiece come down and the arm bands clamp on James' arms. She could hear the crackle of electricity surging through the machine. The headpiece came down and the volts shot directly into James' head. She watched him yell in pain and screamed at the doctor, "Stop! Leave him alone!"

Dr. Mirnov ignored her, flipping another switch and causing him to scream more. His back arched off the chair and the sweat poured down his temples. Kelly turned away and closed her eyes, unable to watch. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, gritting her teeth through his screams. She felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. How can anyone do this to another?

Finally everything went quiet. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up. The chair came back to upright position. Kelly looked at him. James' eyes were blank and he stared straight ahead. Dr. Mirnov stepped in front of him, "Sergeant Barnes, are you prepared for your next mission?"

He glanced up at her with cold eyes then faced Kelly again, nodding. "Fabulous," she said then glanced at Kelly, "Your mission is to kill her but please, as slowly as possible."

Kelly swallowed, glancing from the doctor to James with wide eyes. No. this can't be happening. He wouldn't. I mean he's tried before but never…Oh God. Dr. Mirnov nodded to one of the guards before walking out the door. The guard unrestrained her and she darted towards the doctor, intent on unleashing some of her own justice. But just as she got to the door she was yanked back by a metal arm. Stumbling backward and turning to face him she said, "James. James please, I know you're still in there."

Kelly backed up as he kept advancing on her. "Please!" she begged, "Remember the cabin? You and I we talked…we danced. And you told me about Coney Island…"

James threw a punch but she ducked and kept backing away, "You're not the monster they programmed you to be. You're a good man."

He glared at her the charged. Kelly ran but he caught her and threw her into the chair. He pulled out his knife and encroached again. She darted out of the seat, but he caught her arm with the knife. She hissed, looking down at the red now blotting her shirt. "James please," she begged, "You have to fight it. I know you can. You did it before."

James growled and slashed at her again, catching her other arm. She grimaced and held it. "You're going to remember," She said, "You have to. Even if I die trying to make it happen."

Kelly charged him, taking his face in her hands and kissing him with all her might. Their lips pressed together tightly and she held him tight. She threw him off balance for a second but then he pushed her into the wall. Smiling inwardly, she felt relieved. It's working. It has to be… he's actually—

Suddenly a sharp pain came from the right side of her abdomen. She pulled back, eyes wide and staring at him. James still stared at her, expressionless. Glancing down, she saw his hand on the hilt of his knife with the blade pushed fully into her. Kelly eyes lifted back to his and stared in disbelief. She coughed up blood, gagging on it as it came out. "But…I kissed you…" she said, voice shaking before she coughed up another bit of blood and groaned. Looking deep into his blue eyes with no trace of the sparkle they had before she said exasperatedly, "Finish this. Just make it quick. You owe me that much."

James twisted the knife causing her to cry out. Kelly's eyes looked away then back into his, "I'm sorry…" eyes brimming squeezing tightly for a second from the pain before reopening them. She let her hand gently caress his face before dropping. James pulled out the knife, about to put it back in when she breathed, "I…I love you" before squeezing her eyes shut again.

James halted mid strike. His eyes went wide as Kelly slid to the floor, blood trailing down the wall. The knife fell from his hand, dropping to the ground with a deafening thump. He looked at his hands, his lip quivering as he looked down at her. Without warning Natasha burst in yelling, "Sputnik!" with Steve right behind her.

James swallowed, glancing at them then back to Kelly. "What I have I done?"


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: A Life Worth Saving

Natasha lowered her gun and rushed over to Kelly. "Hey" she said, lifting up her face, "Look at me. You're gonna be okay."

Kelly's eyes glanced up at her warily then she grimaced, "It hurts."

Natasha saw the hand covering the gushes of blood staining her shirt. Turning her head she shouted, "Steve! She's losing a lot of blood. You have to take her…NOW!"

Steve rushed over and gently picked Kelly up, wrapping her arms around his neck for support. "Keep pressing on it," he told her, making sure her hand was secure on the wound. He stepped forward but suddenly Bucky blocked their path. Natasha stepped in between them and pointed her gun at him, "Let him go. He can save her but he has to go now. She'll be dead if he doesn't."

Bucky swallowed, glancing at Kelly then his friend. He stepped aside just as Natasha turned to Steve and said, "Go! We'll cover you."

Swinging outside the door and holding on the frame for leverage, Natasha pulled the trigger and shot anything that moved. Grunts of men being hit echoed through the hall and three men fell. "You're clear!" she shouted and Steve ran out with Kelly in tow before jumping out the hole Bucky came through earlier.

Bucky stood there, eyes glazed over. The scene played over and over in his mind. The minute her eyes widened when she felt the knife, her cry of pain and her declaration. 'I love you'. It pulled him out. Every bit of programming in his mind was overridden by those three words. But he already stuck the knife in, twisting it so the wound wouldn't shut. Her blood still stained his hands. Glancing down at them, he felt numb. What have I done?

"I could use some help here" Natasha shouted, shooting outside the door before coming back in. Leaning up against it she refilled her gun with bullets. James still stood there, completely still.

Natasha had enough of his silence. She charged over and punched him square in the jaw. He looked down at her surprised as she pulled his chin to look at her directly. "Hey! I know what she means to you okay? I know you're wondering what the hell just happened and feeling guilty but I need you to focus. Steve needs to get out the door to save her and he can't do that without our help. If you want her to live, help me take down the Hydra operatives in our way."

Bucky nodded and picked up his knife. They're going to pay for what they made me out the door and into the hallway, he tackled a group of guys, slitting one throat then another, anger unleashed. Natasha came out shooting, avoiding Bucky. A group of SWAT guys came in through the stairwell and both Natasha and Bucky began hand to hand combat. While she was kicking the guys knee the opposite direction, one of them tackled Bucky back into the lab. Punching him and kicking him off, he stood and threw the guy into the monitors. Turning on the machine, the chair gripped the guy and shoved volts into his head, causing him to convulse for a few moments before beingstill. He glanced up again at the machine that ruined him. No more. Letting out a shout of rage and anguish, he ripped the machine apart. Finding a lighter on the floor from the guy already in the chair, he flicked it on and torched the entire machine.

In the hallway, Natasha, took down another few men before Bucky rushed out the room.

"Are you done playing around in there? They keep coming," she said , kicking another one away from her.

As Natasha glanced his way, one of the guys tossed a grenade at them which Bucky caught with his metal hand, throwing it back at them. "Hang on!" he said, grabbing her as he jumped out the hole.

Reaching out with his metal arm, Bucky clutched the other building with his metal hand and her with his right. The slid down the wall just as the grenade exploded above them. One guy flew head first out of the hole in the wall. Feet hitting the ground, the two of them looked at one another. "Let's get to the hospital" he said and they ran.

After his feet touched the ground as light as a feather, Steve sprinted towards the nearest hospital, 20 blocks from where they stood. Dodging in and out of pedestrians he shouted," Excuse me! Injured girl!"

Kelly smiled slightly and said, "You should just say I'm pregnant or an alien. Then they'll move."

Steve chuckled, "Do you always make jokes in situations like this?"

"As a matter of fact I do," she said, chuckling then coughing, "It helps me forget the pain."

"Don't worry," he said, "We're getting closer."

"15 blocks is close?" she raised an eyebrow.

Steve smiled, "I run fast."

They were silent for a minute or two until Kelly looked up at him and said, "I'm dying aren't I? I probably won't make it to the hospital."

"You'll be fine" Steve said, dodging in and out of the people crowding the crosswalk in the intersection.

Smiling she said, "You're a terrible liar."

"That's because I believe in honesty. But you're not going to die. You mean too much to Bucky and he's been my friend for too long for me to let him down now."

"You're a good friend Steve" She chuckled, "A terrible liar but a good friend. He doesn't blame you, by the way, for the train."

He glanced at her, blinking, "You can't know that."

"He may not have said it out loud per se, but I can tell. You mean a lot to him. That's why he couldn't kill you."

Steve smiled, crossing another intersection and closing in on the hospital.

"Too bad I don't have your superpowers," she sighed. Just as he was about to counter it she added, "It's okay, I'm not afraid to die."

"That's good," he said, "Because you're not going to."

She smiled. "I like your optimism, but I think I might," she paused and glanced up at him after a second as she said, "At least I told him."

"Told him what?" Steve asked but Kelly grimaced in pain and whimpered just as he burst through the sliding doors. "This girl needs a doctor!" he shouted.

Nurses rushed over from their station. One came forward with a gurney and Steve set her down gently. The nurses hovered over her and one said, "Stab wound on right side!"

"Get her to the OR stat!" a nurse said and they rushed her off through a set of doors, leaving Steve standing there.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Tying Up Loose Ends

Natasha and Bucky made it to the hospital, walking inside. He put his hands in his pockets as the two of them approached the nurse's stand. The ladies behind the desk directed them upstairs to a waiting room where they found Steve sitting and reading a magazine. He looked up when they entered and stood. "You guys okay?"

They nodded. Bucky stepped forward and swallowed as he asked, "How is she?"

"They haven't really told me anything," Steve said, "They took her in for surgery and that's the last I heard. They told me it could take a couple hours," he glanced over at the magazine he set down, "Figured I'd do a little reading while I waited."

Bucky turned away from them, trudging toward the wall. Guilt washed over him. Again the loop ran in his head. The blood, her eyes, her body crumbled on the floor. Balling his fists, he gritted his teeth. He remembered Dr. Mirnov smiling at him, telling him his mission. Grabbing a chair he yelled as he broke it against the wall.

Steve came up beside him. "Whoa Buck," he said, "Calm down. They'll take care of her."

He glanced at his friend, eyes pained, "I did this. It's my fault she's lying in a hospital bed" he gulped and looked away, "It's my fault she's dying."

"Hydra wiped you so you couldn't remember. They're to blame, not you" Steve said reassuringly. Pausing a second he asked, "How did you remember by the way? You already snapped out of it before Natasha said the trigger word."

Bucky put his arms on the wall and leaned forward, dropping his head as he answered, "She said she loved me."

"She…she loves you?" Steve blinked, before saying, "That's, wow that's amazing. I knew you two had something going on. Not that I'm surprised. You've always had a way with the girls. But that, that's big Buck," he put a hand on his shoulder, "Her saying that brought you back?"

He turned back to his friend and dropped his arms to his sides, "Everything came back. Everything in my head was completely rewired."

Steve was about to say something else when one of the doctors came out. "I'll be right back" he said, before meeting the doctor halfway. While they were deep in conversation, Natasha moved closer to Bucky.

"So she loves you huh?" she asked.

Bucky didn't answer just stood there, watching Steve and the doctor.

Natasha said, "I told her about us you know."

He glanced over at her, wide eyed and she chuckled. "She doesn't mind," she said, "She was actually pretty fine with it. Most girls aren't that laid back."

"When did that come up?" he asked.

"Oh you know, girl talk," Natasha said with a smile. Silent for a second before glancing at Steve, she added, "I hope you know she won't be safe here for long. We only got her out but they'll be coming for you both again."

Bucky gritted his teeth and said, "They won't touch her."

"That's sweet and all, but I think they're still going to try" she said.

Looking at her he said, "Then we go after them first."

Natasha glanced up at him and asked, "You think they're still in the building?"

"I'm betting on it" he said, glancing back to his friend.

"What about Steve?" she asked, looking in the same direction.

"He can protect her" Bucky said, turning back to Natasha, "Time is of the essence."

"What are we waiting for?" she said, cracking a grin.

Bucky and Natasha told Steve the situation before disappearing out the door. He didn't like being left behind but accepted it since he brought Kelly inside in the first place. They walked back in the main doors of the building, aiming their guns towards anyone who stood in their way, but it was quiet. No one manned the desk and the men Steve took out earlier still lay on the ground.

Together they made their way up the stairs, guns pointed in front of them. Each room they passed was empty. Finally they came to the end of the hall where they heard a woman's voice talking. "He will be retrieved shortly. His mission is complete. The girl is bleeding out as we speak."

They two of them stood at the door, guns aimed at the woman's head. Suddenly Dr. Mirnov spun around in her chair, "Sergeant Barnes, you've returned again. Congratulations on a mission complete."

He gritted his teeth, "She's not dead and she's not going to be."

"I think the blood on the wall in the lab suggest otherwise," she said, standing. "You're here for your next mission and luckily for you, she's standing behind you. Kill Natasha Romanoff."

Bucky growled then advanced on Dr. Mirnov. "Sputnik," she said with a grin.

He kept on going and the woman said, "This isn't possible" as she backed up. He cornered her and grabbed her by the throat with his metal hand. Lifting her up, she doctors eyes widened in panic. "Sputnik!" she shouted.

"That word doesn't work on me any longer," he growled then squeezed. Dr. Mirnov struggled, arms and feet failing as she gritted out, "Hail Hydra!"

The doctor fell limp in his arm but Bucky still kept his grip tight. After a minute or two, he dropped her to the floor and turned towards Natasha. "Let's burn this place down."

"Now we're talking," she answered, grinning.

Bucky broke the large table with one hit from his metal elbow. He tossed her the lighter he grabbed earlier. "Hold that thought," she said, going to the hidden cabinet in the room, "These people always love to have their booze on hand to celebrate so…" she unlocked a secret compartment and held up a bottle, "Hmm, a 20 year old scotch. That'll do."

Natasha poured it all over then flipped open the lighter and dropped it. The two of them walked out and left. Unfortunately not everyone in the building had disappeared. A man and woman shot at them. Bucky tossed Natasha his gun and she shot forward, hitting the man in the kneecaps and the woman in the chest. He took his knife and slit the throat of the man and she shot the woman. They made their way down to the ground floor when Natasha turned to him and said, "Let me make sure this place burns…"

Without another word she disappeared down a hallway, heading for the electric room. She grabbed a few grenades from the men who were down and unpinned all of them as she cut wires. Running out, they both got out the glass doors just as the blast resonated through the building. The ground shook as debris fell from the top. Together, they headed back down the sidewalk in a fast job, back to where Steve waited.

When Bucky and Natasha returned to the hospital, they found Steve talking with the doctor. His arms were crossed and lips in a straight line. Bucky swallowed. She's dead. I lost her. Turning away, he gripped the sides of a chair. Feeling a tap on his shoulder, he turned to see Steve there. "She's alive, Buck," he said, "They say she's stable and she'll be fine. She needs rest, but you can go in and see her."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Hospital Room

James walked into the room, seeing a curtain up. A nurse came out from behind and gasped as she saw him. "My goodness you gave me a scare" the nice older woman began, clutching her chest before smiling, "She's not quite awake yet but if you want to sit and wait you can."

He nodded and watched the older woman exit. James pulled back the curtain, seeing her lying in the bed to his left. They had her in a blue hospital gown covered by a light sheet. Kelly lay on her left side with her head facing the window on the other side of the room. Her blonde hair was still a little messy, but fell across her shoulders and back and shone brightly in the little bit of sunlight in the room.

James swallowed hard as he took the chair by the window. As he sat down, he looked up at her face. Her eyes were closed and lips rested in a straight line. He leaned forward with his elbows on knees. He reached out a hand to brush a hair from her face but pulled back before he did. Burying his face in his hands, he sat there, letting his guilt wash over him.

Suddenly James heard a light sigh and looked up to see Kelly opening her eyes. They glanced around and blinked, then rested on his face. His face lit up as their eyes met. "Hi" he said.

Kelly furrowed her brow and asked, "Hi…do I know you?"

James felt his heart stop. He gulped. She doesn't remember. She doesn't remember and it's entirely my fault. Swallowing he said, "I'm James. We're …friends."

"Friends?" she asked, slowly propping herself up on her elbow, "For how long?"

"A couple of weeks so far," he said, smiling half-heartedly.

"Really?" she asked, "How did we meet?"

"We were both at the Smithsonian tribute to Captain America" he answered. The memory of her walking up next to him and talking without a care flew to the forefront of his mind. Only two weeks, it's only been two weeks.

"Huh," Kelly said, "I don't remember. Have we spent a lot of time together since?"

James again half-smiled, "We have. Quite a bit this last week actually."

She tilted her head and said, "What's your name?"

Swallowing he answered, "James Barnes."

Kelly pursed her lips and shook her head, "No… I don't think that's quite right. I think your name is James 'Bucky' Barnes. And we met at the Smithsonian and afterword you tried to kill me at the metro. Then I got pulled into this big ordeal to help you regain your memories and on the run from this crazy Nazi organization called Hydra. And to top it all off," she said curling her lips into a smile, "I got kidnapped by that organization and they had you try to kill me, again."

James eyes widened and his chest heaved, relieved that she remembered. Without thinking he stood and picked her up in his arms, to which she whimpered. Immediately he set her back down and asked, "Are you okay? Did I hurt you…worse?"

"Fine," Kelly answered, "Just please be gentle, still healing you know," she smiled, "I'm sorry, about the pretending to not remember thing. That was mean but on the other hand I thought we agreed you weren't going to attempt to kill me anymore."

He swallowed as he fell back into the chair. He cast his eyes to the floor shamefully. She tossed her feet over the bed and slid off. Kneeling in front of him, Kelly gently put a hand to the side of his face and said, "Don't feel bad. I know it wasn't you," she pushed a stray hair back and returned her eyes to his, "I tried my best to help you remember. I'm sorry I didn't succeed."

"You did," James said, staring back at her.

Kelly shook her head, "The kiss didn't work. That's how I got the knife in my side. I have the scar to prove it."

"Not the kiss," he answered, "but what came after."

She met his eyes and blushed, looking away, "Oh boy. I was pretty melodramatic there," she slowly stood, holding her injured side as she sat back on the bed, "But I guess you say some crazy things when you think you're gonna die."

Their eyes met again as James asked, "Did you mean it?"

Kelly looked at him, seeing the sparkle back in his eyes. Grinning she said, "What do you think?"

He leaned in, gently grabbing her face before he kissed her. She slowly put her hands on his chest, gently pushing him away. He stared at her with a furrowed brow, "What's wrong?"

She raised her eyes to his. "Nothing" she said, "I'm glad you know how I feel but you don't have to pretend with me. I know you still have some of your memories to get back and that's all this is," she glanced downward, "I don't think I can handle any more of that without having my heart break."

James pulled her chin up, looking in her eyes with nothing but anguish in his own. "You think that's all this is? I have all my memories back. I don't need anything. I'm kissing you because I want to. Even before I had all of them back, most of my memories came from your presence alone. Kissing you, I did that because I knew I had to. I felt it, deep inside my chest."

Kelly swallowed, staring at him in disbelief. "What are you saying?" she asked, gulping.

He slowly smiled and chuckled, shaking his head, "You really don't know?"

"You… love me?" she asked, voice wavering.

James glanced from her lips back to her eyes, "Abundantly."

This time Kelly was the one to grab him, pressing her lips to his eagerly. He smiled, gently pulling her closer to his chest. After a few moments they pulled away, still leaving an inch or two between their faces. She smiled, "I don't even know what to say to describe how I'm feeling," she said, before a stinging from her side made her grimace, "Okay I lied. Painful right now."

James gently put her back on the bed. "Take it easy. Don't want that to reopen."

Sighing contentedly, she said, "So, what are we going to do now?" she asked pausing for a second then adding, "Bucky?"

His eyes widened then he smiled and said, "You…you called me Bucky."

"Well yeah," Kelly said, "If you remember everything, then that's what you go by. Who am I to call you something you're not fond of?"

James was quiet for a minute then gently held her hands in his as he said, "You're the only one I want calling me James."

Her cheeks flushed as she smiled, looking away.

A knock came on the door as Steve and Natasha walked in. "Sorry to interrupt," Steve said, "but we aren't exactly safe here. Even if you did blow up Hydra's headquarters, we still need to move," He glanced at Kelly with a smile, "Will you be able make it okay?"

Kelly nodded, "I'll live. Just no more life and death situations today if possible."

They all laughed. James helped her up and gently lifted her in his arms as Natasha grabbed her clothes. He set her down towards the bathroom and Natasha followed her inside to help her change. After a minute or so, Kelly came out clothed. Looking at all of them she said, "Okay, let's make a break for it."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Escape

Steve and Natasha were out the door first, keeping Kelly out of sight as best as possible. Bucky trailed on the end, keeping his hands in his pockets. The nurse at the station nodded and smiled at them, glad to see the young woman had so many friends. But then she did a double take realizing there was one more to their group. "She can't leave yet," she said, coming from behind the counter.

"I'll be fine" Kelly said.

"I'm afraid I can't let you leave," the nurse said as James stepped in front, shooting her an icy glare.

"I will call security…" she said, cowering away from him.

Kelly slowly stepped in front of him, still holding her side. Looking up at the woman with weary eyes she said, "Please. I just found out my mom is in the hospital thanks to them. Unfortunately it's the one on the other side of town. I'll be getting care but I want to be with my mom. Can you understand that? Please?"

The nurse sighed, putting down the phone she held. "Let me get your transfer papers" she said, turning away for a moment. Turning back papers in hand, she gave them to Kelly and said, "Now I'm going to call and let them know you're on your way."

"Thank you," Kelly said with a smile.

"All the best to you and your mom," the nurse replied.

They all kept walking, the nurse watching them exit. She immediately picked up the phone and called the other hospital. Once they were outside the doors, Kelly breathed a sigh of relief. Natasha twirled her keys and headed to go get the car. As the three of them stood at the curb, none said anything. Finally Kelly crossed her arms and said, "Well this is awkward."

The guys both laughed, looking at each other before her. "Maybe we're just in shock at how you just talked your way out of a hospital stay," Steve smiled then asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Like I need to go a week without being shot at, tied up, choked or stabbed," she answered, then grinned and said, "But for now, a vacation would be nice."

"Well we are going to Europe," James said.

"I know," she sighed then looked up at him, "Can we at least stop at one French café for some fondue? It's so good."

Steve's cheeks flushed as Natasha pulled around the car. He got in quickly as she looked at James, "What'd I say?"

James just chuckled and shrugged before helping her into the car. As soon as they were strapped in, Natasha put the pedal to the metal, leaving a trail of dust. Kelly leaned into him and looked up saying, "I should've probably grabbed some Vicodin before I left."

He raised a brow and she slowly shook her head. "I really can't wait 'til you're caught up," she said, "It's a really good medication. Basically makes you numb."

James smiled and gently kissed the top of her hair. It took about twenty minutes to get to the airport, and Natasha didn't slow down even when they got there. She sped along until they reached a private hangar. They all shuffled out of the car, James helping Kelly slowly. Inside sat a huge jet, with stairs leading up to the door. She glanced up at it before turning to Steve and Natasha. "You guys steal Air Force One? I'm flattered but I don't mind flying coach" she said.

They laughed and Natasha said, "Director Fury always kept one around just in case. Since SHIELD is compromised, it's ours."

They all made their way up the stairs into the plane. Natasha immediately entered the cockpit, preparing everything. As Kelly got inside, she looked around in awe. Spacious and full of light, the plane had everything. She saw a fully functioning bar with a fridge and microwave as well as spacious loungers. There seemed to be what looked like a stereo and the further they walked there was a huge HD TV on the side. "Now this is a plane," she said.

Kelly and James sat down in two seats facing Steve in another. Sighing she asked, "So how long of a ride?"

"No idea" Steve said.

Grinning and glancing at the TV she added, "I hope there's at least an in-flight movie."

They chuckled as Natasha came over the loudspeaker. "Hope you're all comfortable back there because it's a 9 hour flight. Sit back and relax."

"Finally" Kelly said. Suddenly they felt the plane stop taxing and begin to speed up. She squeezed James' hand through takeoff, smiling as she said, "It's not like I can break metal."

Up in the air, they all just kind of looked at each other. Looking at Steve, she asked, "So Steve, I couldn't help but notice your reaction when I said fondue. What exactly was that about?"

Steve chuckled then said, "Just something embarrassing I remembered doing."

"Well?" since he didn't elaborate she asked, "You can't just leave my curiosity peaked. C'mon, cater to the injured girl."

Smiling he said, "Well, back during the war I decided to come in to the rescue of our men in the enemy camp. Agent Carter, Howard Stark and I all rode a jet towards the mark where I'd drop in" he paused a moment then continued, "At that time I really liked Agent Carter, so I admit I was a little naïve about some things. When Howard asked if she wanted to have a late night fondue with him I thought he meant something else."

Kelly laughed out loud. "You thought they …wow" she tried to stop giggling as she said, "Perfectly understandable."

James chuckled, "He was always intimidated by girls."

Steve laughed. "Or maybe I just couldn't be as witty as you, Buck," he said then changed the subject as he looked at her, "So you actually are a writer. What do you write about?"

Kelly smiled then said, "Anything and everything really. I freelance for newspapers but also post on my blog…"

She paused to explain but Steve held up a hand, "I know what a blog is."

"Anyway," she continued, "Mainly politics but sometimes column stuff and reviews of films or music."

"No books?" he asked.

Smiling Kelly said, "I'd like to, I mean that's my goal. I have a couple I have pretty much done but no takers from any publishers so far. I suppose it's hard to break into the genre when there's so many already out there."

James grinned and turned to his friend, "She writes romance novels."

"Don't say it like that" she groaned, giving him a hard nudge.

Steve chuckled, "Nothing wrong with that. I'm sure yours are great. The genre has evolved over time."

Raising a brow Kelly asked, "You read them?"

Bucky snickered as Steve countered, "Nicholas Sparks is a good writer. I have been trying to catch up on my reading."

"Okay I need to take it easy on the laughing before I hurt myself," she said taking a breath. Suddenly she broke into a yawn and leaned against James shoulder, "You guys don't mind if I take a nap right? Still injured, you know."

"Get your rest," James said, kissing her gently on the head.

After she fell asleep, Steve looked to his friend. "I'm happy for you, Buck" he said, "She's great."

He smiled then asked, "What about you Steve? I know you really loved Peggy but it's okay to move on."

Steve shrugged, "I know. Believe me I've thought about it. Plus, Nat is definitely trying to get me to. She's been trying to fix me up with any and all girls."

Bucky chuckled, "You used to be lucky to get one and now they're all coming after you."

Steve laughed, "Now I know how you felt."

Looking at his friend he said, "You'll find a good one Steve," he smiled, glancing down at her face as he said, "Sometimes they even find you."

"Even if it takes 70 years," Steve grinned.

Silence fell between them for a minute or two before he said, "I'm sorry about the train, Buck."

Bucky glanced at his friend, "It wasn't your fault Steve."

He sighed, "I still feel like it was."

"Don't worry about it," Bucky said, "I don't blame you."

Steve looked at him, pausing for a second before he said, "That's the second time I thought you were gone for good."

His friend smiled, "Well I told you, I'm with you to the end of the line."

"Yeah you did" Steve answered, smiling.

"But you're still a punk" Bucky said with a grin.

"You're still a jerk" he answered.

The two of them smiled and leaned back, relaxing for the rest of the flight.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: SHIELD Headquarters

Hours later, Kelly awoke by a shudder in the cabin. Looking out the window, she swore she saw more land than before and deduced they were prepping for landing. Rubbing her eyes and yawning, she stretched her arms out before grimacing. "Note to self, don't stretch that far," she said before looking over at James and grinning, "Hi."

"Hi" he answered with a smile.

Looking out the window again, Kelly saw darkness mainly but the littlest lights of a runway. Turning to Steve and James she asked, "Well it doesn't look like Paris so where are we?"

"No idea," Steve answered, "Natasha's kept it close to the chest."

Right on time they heard her over the loudspeaker, "Make sure your tray tables are in their upright and locked positions," they heard her chuckle into it, "We're here."

Before they knew it, the plane set down. Slowly unbuckling and standing, Kelly leaned into James for support. "Guess we'll just have to wait on Paris," she sighed.

Smiling her pulled her in close, kissing her head. "I'll get you to Paris" he whispered then said, "First you need to heal."

Turning back to look at Steve, "So what are you going to do now? You've found who you were looking for. Hell we both did."

Steve smiled at his friend then her and said, "I really haven't thought of it. But I guess here's a good place to figure it out."

"And it looks like you have some time," Kelly answered with a grin, "Hydra's out there but regrouping. Don't know when they'll pop up next."

We'll be ready for them when they do," he said, "This fight's far from over."

All of them slowly filed off the plane as a guy stood at the end waiting for them. He had what looked like a quiver on his back and shades on.

Smiling Steve said, "Haven't seen you in awhile, Hawkeye."

"I'm always around," he answered, looking from Bucky then at Kelly, "And who's this?"

James still stood in front of her but she peeked around, holding out a hand, "Kelly Olsen."

"She undid Hydra's brainwashing of the Winter Soldier," Nat said as the two of them shook hands. Coming to the bottom of the stairs she added, "And since he's not letting go of her any time soon, she's with us."

Hawkeye chuckled and nodded to James, "It's fine with me. But don't worry big guy, she's safe here."

As Natasha reached him he said, "Let's go. The big man wants to see all of you before you get settled."

Hawkeye led them to a waiting SUV. They all got inside then drove out to what seemed like the middle of nowhere. Nothing but empty farmland surrounded them, "Um, Hawkeye, sorry if that's not your name, but we're in the middle of nowhere," Kelly said, "So either this is going to get all horror movie-y or where's SHIELD?"

He smiled as suddenly the ground beneath them moved. Slowly they were lowered into an expansive warehouse like building. All around were vehicles and planes of various sizes and Kelly didn't spot too many people. "Knew I should've parked closer" Natasha winked at Clint.

As they walked, she took in her surroundings. James still kept her close, his metal arm around her waist. Spotting what looked to be a helacarrier, she turned to James and said, "Think they got enough toys?"

They all laughed and Natasha said, "I guess you don't know SHIELD very well. We love our toys."

Suddenly from in front they heard, "You know I saved that jet for my use, Natasha."

They all glanced up to see the man in a long coat standing in front of them. He wore an eyepatch and had a smooth head.

Natasha answered, "You know I couldn't resist. Besides, you're supposed to be dead remember? Dead men don't need jets."

She grinned before her and Hawkeye disappeared further down the entryway. The man smiled then glanced towards Kelly and said, "Natasha tells me you helped un-brainwash Sergeant Barnes here."

She shrugged. "I guess so, I mean, I just let him manhandle me," she grinned and said, "Maybe kissed him once or twice."

"Have to say I can't say any of the rest of us tried that method" he said, glancing from James back to her, "Doesn't look like you got by unscathed though. Our medical staff will take excellent care of you."

"Thank you," she said with smile, "But before we continue, you know who I am and everyone else knows you but me. Do I get an introduction or do I have to guess?"

"I'm Director Fury," he said, "Head of SHIELD and keeper of this."

"Well nice to meet you Mr. Fury. And as far as my amazing abilities to de-brainwash people, it only works on him as far as I know," she said, casting a glance towards James, "So I hope I'm not too big of an odd man out here."

"I have a feeling you'll fit in just fine" he said, "Welcome to the SHIELD."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Underground

Steve, Kelly and James all followed Director Fury further into the compound, passing more and more people. They headed into an area where hallways jutted out in different directions but blocked by large mechanical doors. Fury kept walking straight ahead, leading them further inside.

"I like what you've done with the place" Steve said.

Fury answered, "I did tell you I was going underground."

"Literally" Steve said and smiled, turning to glance at James and Kelly who were behind them.

"I guess I only know a little about SHIELD," Kelly said, smiling at Steve then glancing at Fury, "Aren't you guy's part of the help effort in NYC?"

"Partially," Fury answered, "The rest was with the help of Cap here as well as Tony Stark, Agent Barton, Agent Romanoff, Dr. Banner and an Asguardian named Thor."

"As in the Norse god Thor?" she asked.

He nodded.

"I see," Kelly said, "Man I just need to accept that from now on my life is just going to be one weird thing after another from assassins to gods to superheroes…everything. Anyway, what are you doing now with the whole HYDRA thing? Did you sort out the good from the bad?"

"As of right now we're regrouping and trying to find out more about the infiltrators as well as their location," Fury said, "So far I've uncovered very little but my team here is working on it. We hope to have more within the next two days."

He turned to look at them then to Steve and said, "I will debrief you further tomorrow, Cap. For now, I'll let all of you get settled in. Agent Mills will show you to each of your quarters. It was nice to meet you Miss Olsen. I have a feeling we'll be speaking again soon."

Without another word he disappeared, replace by a slender and tall brunette. Agent Mills smiled at them all then said, "This way," she said, leading them down one of the large hallways. After about 500 feet she said, "Captain, you're up first."

The three of them stopped in front of a large door that would be Steve's room. Agent Mills pressed her hand to the wall and it opened. "Thank you," he said to Agent Mills then turned to Kelly and James, "Well this is it for now. See you two tomorrow."

They nodded as the door came back down. Walking onward, Kelly and James followed Agent Mills to the next room a few hundred feet down the hall. Opening the door with her own hand, Kelly walked inside, struck dumb by all the stuff inside. There was a huge bed in the middle against the wall and a couch nearby on the left. A flat screen TV hung on the wall above it and on the right side she saw it had its own kitchen. "Well this just kicked my old apartment's ass" she said, chuckling, "All I need is a computer."

Turning she saw James had sat down on the edge of bed, just watching her. Agent Mills was nowhere in sight either. "What are you doing?" she asked, "Weren't you supposed to follow her? I thought we were just told separate quarters?"

"I'm not letting you out of my sight" he said. Shaking her head and smiling she walked towards him.

"Sometimes I'm in more danger if I'm in it" she said as she gently bit her lip then glanced around before back at him, "It's not exactly like the cabin but I think it'll work."

Without another word, Kelly leaned in and pressed their lips together. After a brief pause for a breath she slowly straddled his hips, placing her knees on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, keeping her steady. Slowly she nudged her tongue through his lips. He grinned, massaging her tongue with his. She ran a hand through his hair and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. The heat between them rose, feeling like lighting in the air. They didn't stop for minutes until Kelly finally pulled away, panting slightly. Blushing and biting her lip, she said, "God I want you…but we can't do that right this second. Soon…God it better be soon," she glanced down at her stab wound then said, "This better speed heal or so help me…"

James grinned, "All good things in time."

"Easy for you to say, you're 90. You've already had a lot of time" she said, chuckling then said, "I'm a little impatient."

Looking her up and down he said, "I like you impatient."

"You say that now" she chuckled.

Kelly slowly got up with his help before going to search for clothing. Inside a dresser on the other side of the room near the couch she found a large t-shirt. Walking back towards him she said, "It's not flannel but I think I can deal with it."

They both laughed before she turned and changed out of her t-shirt and jeans and into the other. He already had tossed his shirt to the floor. Crawling into bed next to him, she sat in the crook of his right arm and lie on her non-injured side. Sighing she asked, "How long do you think we'll have to stay here?"

"Hard to tell," James said, looking at her.

"You think Hydra will always be after me… us?" she looked up into his eyes, sparkling in the lamp light.

"Just until we stop them," he answered before giving her a soft kiss on the forehead, "Now sleep."

Kelly chuckled, "You shouldn't have let me sleep so long on the plane if you wanted that."

James smiled and said, "You looked too peaceful."

"I didn't start drooling yet," she said, grinning then releasing a sigh, "I guess I can try. I have you here with me."

"Always" he said.

Together they shut their eyes, falling asleep just like they did not long ago in the secluded cabin in the woods.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Past and Future

Kelly backed up, feeling her hands hit the wall. "Please," she begged, "You promised."

James still advanced on her. In his right hand he held his knife, the blade shining brightly in glow of the light of the room. He jabbed at her but she dodged out of the way. Grabbing his gun, she held it up and aimed, ready to defend herself. "Please," she pleaded, "Don't make me do this."

He laughed then stared at her jeeringly. "You aren't going to hurt me. You don't have it in you" he said, closing the distance between them, "Hydra isn't controlling me anymore. This is me and I want to kill you."

James rushed her but again she escaped him. "This isn't you. It can't be you," she said, "You love me."

Shaking his head and laughing he said, "I'm the Winter Soldier. I'm a weapon. Weapons don't love. They don't feel."

Kelly pulled the trigger but he blocked it with his metal arm. Charging her again, he pinned her in the corner. Grabbing her throat with his metal hand, he held her in place as she shoved his knife in her left hand. He took her wrist and yanked down, making her stab herself in the side. She screeched in pain, hearing his laughter echoing in her ears.

Kelly screamed awake with a heaving chest, grabbing her side. Pulling her shirt up quickly, the car was still visible. James sat up quickly, gently placing a hand on her back and caressing. Her wild eyes darted around the room before stopping to meet his.

"What's wrong?" he said with a furrowed brow.

"It's nothing." she said, swallowing and looking away from him.

"That's not true," he said, staring at her concerned, "Tell me."

She closed her eyes and dropped her head, cradling it in her hands. "It's the dream again" she answered.

"Again?" he said, "The same as before? No difference?"

"No change," she said, putting her hands down and glancing at him, "I don't know how much more I can take. It's been a month James. I have this nightmare almost every night. It's killing me. I can barely sleep."

He swallowed, dropping his gaze. Kelly felt her heart drop in her chest. "I'm sorry," she said, slipping her hand in his right one, "I'm not blaming you. I know you'll never do it again. It's just…I don't know. I just can't shake it."

"It's my fault" he said, pausing a moment and avoiding her eyes, "I did it and I can't ever change the past."

"Maybe not" she said, squeezing his hand, "But we can change the future. And I'm not going anywhere" she smiled, "I still love you."

James met her eyes and gave a half hearted smile. He leaned forward but she leaned backward. "I'm gonna take a walk I think," she said as she stood, "It'll help to shake it off. It's probably just the room. I'm not good at being cooped up for long," she paused then said, "I won't be gone long."

He nodded, watching her walk away. Placing her hand on the wall, she opened the door and disappeared. James stood and paced the length of the room before throwing on a shirt and exiting as well. Heading toward the main hub, he glanced back a moment when he saw a lock of blonde hair go by and almost ran into Hawkeye.

"Whoa, easy" Clint said.

"Sorry" Bucky replied.

"You alright man?" he asked. "I know it's been rough lately since we uprooted more of Hydra's agents."

"I'm fine" he said.

"Suit yourself," Clint said, turning to walk back where he was headed.

"She can't sleep," he said, looking at him," And neither can I. She dreams of me trying to kill her and I dream of everyone I already killed" he shook his head, "I don't know what I can do, for either of us."

Clint stepped toward him, "You're not the only one who's been brainwashed, pal. I've been there. Feeling like you can't do a damn thing? Sucks. But having someone to help you through it is the key."

"How can she help me if she's afraid to be around me?" he asked.

"Look, you just have to make her feel safe again. Once you do that, the rest will fall into place" Clint said.

Bucky nodded and said, "Thanks."

Clint nodded back then walked away.

Kelly walked, holding her arms tightly. Every time she looked around she saw more people. She kept wondering if they were still Hydra and if this SHIELD office was infiltrated too. Finding a secluded corner, she slid down the wall. I know he'll never hurt me so why am I still so skittish? I love him and I've barely let him hold my hand. Squeezing her eyes shut, she gripped her arms tight and cried.

"You okay?" she heard a few minutes later. She looked up to see Natasha standing there, "Stupid question. What's going on?"

"I don't even know where to start" Kelly said, wiping her eyes.

"Well we already know we don't do girl talk so skip it," she said.

"How can I stop being afraid of him?" she asked.

Natasha looked at her, offering a hand to help her up. As Kelly took it and stood she said, "That memory is probably going to stick with you for a long time. I'm the last person to come to for advice but I can tell you this. We all have seen how he looks at you, how he acts when you're around. He protects you like the Crown Jewels. He won't ever do it again."

Kelly swallowed, "And if he does?"

Natasha paused then said, "I guess you'll have to cross that bridge when you get there."

Smiling she turned and started to walk away. "Thank you," Kelly said before rushing back to her room.

Inside, James was standing by the wall, waiting. He looked up as she came in and she smiled. Crossing the room as quickly as possible, she grabbed his head and kissed him. He barely moved at first but then wrapped his arms around her waist. When they broke apart he asked," The dream…it's not bothering you anymore?"

Kelly shook her head, "It still is, but I don't care. I know you won't no matter what my subconscious seems to think…" she gave him another soft kiss, "But I do want to ask a favor."

"Anything," he answered, smiling.

"I want you to teach me how to shoot" she said.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31: Learning New Skills

"You want me to teach you use a gun?" he asked, his brooding eyes glancing toward the floor.

"Yes, but not because of the dream" she said, "I could never hurt you James. I couldn't even dream of it," she moved her head to be in his line of vision, "But I can't just sit around here feel so …helpless. I love that you're here for me, protecting me but I shouldn't need a bodyguard. Everyone has these amazing abilities and can fight off anyone and anything and then there's me," she stared up at him and sighed, "I don't want to be the weak link here. Please? Teach me something?"

"I said anything," he said, looking at her with a soft smile, "and I will."

"Thank you," she said, smiling and wrapping her arms around his neck. Tilting her head back a little she asked, "So when do we start?"

"In a minute," he said before lowering his head and pressing his lips to hers. Her eyes fluttered shut as she pulled herself tight against him, feeling every bit of muscle against her skin. The heat radiated off them like flames and when she opened her mouth for his tongue to come inside, she groaned.

Gently pulling away Kelly said, "As much as I really, really want that…first can you help me not be a sitting duck for Hydra?"

James smiled, "Of course."

They headed down to the gun range on the other side of the compound. Inside, the stalls were set up with the targets in front, like a normal shooting range but almost one touch of the wall on the side brought the target up close. Grabbing an empty stall, Kelly put on the ear protection headphone looking things as James looked on. He handed his gun over and she held it in her hands. The metal was cool and it felt foreign to her. Looking down at it she swallowed. How can something so little cause so much damage? Am I ready for this? Still she held it up, mimicking every movie and TV show she'd ever seen. She stood straight with feet together before pulling the trigger but nothing happened. She glanced backward at James, who gave her a grin.

"You have to take off the safety first," he said, flicking it off for her.

Kelly sighed then tried again, but this time the gun did shoot. She never expected such a strong throwback though. Pushed backward violently, luckily James stood there and caught her in his arms.

"Watch out for the recoil" he said with a grin.

Regaining her balance she said, "They make it look so easy in movies."

He chuckled then put his arms around hers as she repositioned with the gun, hands on top of hers, helping demonstrate. "Look through at the top through the sight to aim. Keep both eyes open and pull the trigger" he said.

Focusing in on the sight, she shifted the gun slightly and fired. Actually hitting the target, she smiled even though it was at the bottom. "At least I hit it," Kelly said.

"You did" he answered.

"Now if I could just hit it up higher, I'll be in better shape" she said.

James removed his hands, stepping backward. She squeezed off a few more but they landed all over the target. "I'm never going to get better at this," she whined.

"Yes you will," he said with a smiled, helping her hold the gun steady again.

He stood so close Kelly just turned her head slightly to see him. She grinned and whispered, "Maybe I should just blame you. You're so damn close I can barely concentrate. That kiss before we left the room definitely didn't help either."

He grins and leaned down about to give her another just as they heard, "Glad to see you two got something worked out."

They turned to see Natasha standing there, taking the stall next to them. She pulled out her two guns and fired off shots, every single one hitting the target exactly where needed.

"How do you do that?" Kelly asked, "I'm lucky if I make it on the paper."

"Just practice," Natasha smiled as she came back over, "Show me what you got."

Kelly fired off a few more before she said, "You're getting better but try doing this," she said, helping her hold the gun tighter and opening up her stance, "You'll be able to take the recoil better this way."

This time when Kelly fired, she hit up the target closer to the shoulder, way better than her previous ones. "Thanks" she said, looking at Natasha.

"So what's with the sudden idea to try your hand at guns? Decided you need to keep him in line?" she grinned glancing from James back to her.

"Just wanted to not feel so helpless," Kelly answered. Pausing a couple seconds she added, "You're really good at fighting. I don't suppose you could show me anything?"

Natasha shrugged, "Sure as long as he's fine with it. You'll probably end up winning against him more."

James chuckled the raised an eyebrow at her, "I seem to remember besting you more times than you did me."

"Times change," Natasha winked then turned back to Kelly, "Whatever you want to know, I'll show you."

"Great. Let's do it" she said.

Together they went into basically a gym like room with mats. Stopping in the center, Natasha turned and said, "I'll show you some basic defense moves then we'll go from there."

Kelly stepped forward on the mat, watching.

"First" she said, "Always know your surroundings. You can always find something lying around to use. Second, go for the weak spots. Eyes, nose, knees, ears and groin."

Kelly chuckled, "It's always the groin for guys."

"Wanna help me demonstrate big guy?" Natasha grinned as James stepped forward.

She illustrated each of the moves and then has Kelly practice against her. Kelly went down a few times but eventually got the hang of it. An hour or so passed before Natasha had to leave and the two of them headed back to their room. After that afternoon, however, she went to practice with Natasha every day that week. Although she could never quite best her, she really felt better knowing she could fight back. Midweek she bumped into Hawkeye, who with a little convincing, agreed to show her how to shoot a bow.

"Eat your heart out Katniss," Kelly said with bow in hand before glancing at Hawkeye, "You realize I haven't done this since school? We had Archery you know."

"Well let's see how you do" he said.

Kelly aimed for the target and hit the first and second circles. "It might not be the bull's-eye but at least I'm better at this then with guns," she said.

He chuckled then said, "Then this should be painless for you."

"Thank God the bow doesn't recoil," Kelly said and chuckled.

Each day she learned more and each moment she felt better and better. The best moments were when she'd come back to their room and find James waiting. He helped her practice with hand to hand, before they'd end up laughing or kissing and calling it a night. At the end of the week during one such practice, Kelly flipped him over quickly before straddling his hips with hers. He grinned as she said, "Wow I actually win? This has to be a first."

"You've earned it" he said.

"You didn't just let me win did you?" She asked as he responded by shaking his head. She paused and grinned, "Although, thinking about it, I think the way I'm sitting both of us are winners…"

Kelly leaned down just as the wall said, "Director Fury, Nicholas J. waiting outside."

"Hold that thought" she said before standing and opening the door.

"I hope I'm not interrupting…"he said, seeing James on the floor, "But I wonder if I could steal you away for a moment."

She glanced back at James who nodded then walked toward him, closing the door. They walked together, him with his hands behind his back. "I see you've attained quite a lot of skills lately" he said.

"I suppose I have," she answered, "I can't thank Natasha, Clint or anyone really enough for taking some time to show me everything."

"You've certainly come a long way from the injured girl who first came here," he said, nodding, "You asked me a few weeks ago how you could help and now I have an answer for you."

"Great!" Kelly answered, "What is it?"

Stopping and turning to face her he said, "How would you like to join SHIELD?"


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32: Uncertainty

_How would you like to join SHIELD?_

Kelly stopped in her tracks, completely taken aback. "Me?" she asked, "But I don't have any talents really. I'm just trying to pick up some self defense so I'm not a total lost cause."

"You couldn't ever be a lost cause Miss Olsen," Fury said, "But you are learning more quickly than many I've seen. You could be an asset to us."

Kelly pursed her lips together in hesitation. Looking at him she said, "I…I just don't understand; I thought SHIELD was technically gone now. I mean I know you got the nice little set up here but…where do I even come in?"

"Since the fallout with Hydra we are in need of new agents," he said, "With the skill set you've acquired, you'd be a great addition to the team."

Crossing her arms she sighed, pursing her lips again. Fury took note of her look and added, "I'm not the only one who has spotted your potential. Both Agent Barton and Romanoff have told me of your skill. Agent Barton assures me that aside from him, you are the deadliest person with a bow. You've been able to hit the bull's-eye the last few days in a row with no mistakes whereas other recruits take months to learn that. And you've taken out moving targets with ease. Natasha told me you have been able to best her in hand to hand, which very few can do. You already are a great asset to Sergeant Barnes in helping to ease the transition after the mind has been tampered with. If you're looking for a way to put your potential to use, this is it."

"What would I even do?" she asked.

"Carry out missions, reconnaissance and things like that," Fury said, "First we'll have you officially trained and prepared for every situation that may arise."

"I don't know," she said, "I'm no spy or anything like that. I'm a writer. I write."

He chuckled, "Many a soul thought they only had one talent but soon find they are suited to multiple things. I've been told many stories of you talking your way out of situations in the couple weeks before you came here. Many people would have given up long before now but you kept fighting and you still are."

She laughed then said, "Yes but I only did that because I had to and because a certain metal armed man wouldn't let me. It was more luck anyway; I just have a very honest smile."

"And that is exactly why you are an asset," He smiled stepped forward, "You also put people at ease. I know you can be a great Agent. Take some time to think it over and then get back to me. "

Without another word, Director Fury walked away, leaving Kelly standing in the corridor. Putting her hand against the wall, she walked back in as the door opened then closed behind her. Biting the side of her lip, she looked up to see James sitting on the couch. He glanced at her then by the look of her face jumped up and in a few quick strides was by her side. "What is it?" he asked. "What did he say to you?"

Kelly sighed and looked up at him, "He wants me to be an Agent of SHIELD."

His lips curled into a smile as he said, "I'd think this would be good news."

"Maybe," she said, "I mean…sure. But I just don't know. Me? I survive two weeks with you and suddenly I'm agent material?"

"It's more than that," James said.

Tilting her head and raising an eyebrow she said, "How?"

Grinning, he stepped back ward and then without warning threw a fist of metal at her. Instinctively she caught it in her right hand. Pushing it back down to his side, she said, "So I can block a punch, big deal."

James didn't hesitate as he twisted her arm behind her back and turned her around, pulling her close but pushing her against the wall. In a single fluid movement, she kicked against wall, pushing them backward and twisting out of his grasp. He dropped to his knees and grabbed her legs, pulling her on the ground. Wrapping her legs around his torso, Kelly rolled on top and grabbed the bow Hawkeye gave her as a gift, drawing the string and pointing it at his heart. He pushed it to the side, lifting her as he stood but she bent backward towards the floor and tossed him with her legs. As he lay on the ground, she pressed her foot towards his throat and stood in an attack stance. Chuckling he said, "And you still wonder why they want you?"

Kelly smiled then rolled her eyes, removing her foot. "Okay, so I might be a little more bad-ass now..."

He stood up quickly. Within moments he held her from behind, his breath on her neck. Gently pushing her hair to one side, he said in her ear, "I think you're more than a little."

Grinning, she turned over her shoulder to look at him, "Does it turn you on, Sergeant Barnes?"

James answered her with a kiss, but not a soft one. He crushed his lips to hers, holding her tight against him. They both pulled away at the same time, mutually grinning. Kelly shifted to face him before her lips formed a straight line with her brow creased. "I still don't know though," she said, "This line of work usually ends up with casualties. That and I don't know if I could…take someone's life."

James nodded slightly, straight-faced. She caressed his cheek with her hand as his eyes met hers. "I see the guilt there you know," she said, "We've had a rough month. I know I wasn't the only one with nightmares. I see how it weighs on you now that you remember and I'm scared. What if I feel like that too?"

"You won't," he answered, "I do merely for the sake of it's something I was programmed to do. But you, you'd only do it in order to save someone else."

Kelly rested her head against his chest, holding him close. "I still wish you'd talk to me about it," she said, "It's not good to bottle stuff like that," suddenly she lifted her head up, "I can't believe I forgot. Steve said there was a guy who used to run a support group for stuff like that. Damn what was his name…Seth? Simon? Sebastian?" looked at him for another second, biting her lip then said, "Sam! That was it. He's here I think."

"I'll look into it," James answered, smiling at her.

'Until then," Kelly said, "I think we need to find out if there's a way to erase all that programming, like the trigger word. You'd never have to worry about them using you again."

"How?" he asked.

"I'm not sure yet, but I'm sure Director Fury and his cohorts will know," she said, lips curling into a grin as she added, "And I should go give him my answer while I'm at it."

Together they left the room, headed towards the main hub. When they got there, however, they found Fury, Steve, Natasha and Clint all were prepping to leave in one of the giant places she saw when they first arrived. "What's going on?" Kelly asked.

"A new situation has arisen," Director Fury said, stopping on the ramp of the plane, "We need to assemble the Avengers. As of right now, you two are to remain here."

"Then how will I get trained for my first day on the job?" she said with a grin.

"For now, go see Agent Mills. We will discuss more when I get back," Fury said, grinning back at her, "Welcome aboard, Agent Olsen."


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Paris

As the plane ascended out from the huge hole now above them, Kelly and James watched it disappear. "I wonder what that's all about," she said as the ceiling reappeared, "Who are the Avengers?"

James shrugged and she sighed. They headed to the main area once more, on the hunt for Agent Mills. They found her in the control center, talking to another agent. "I don't care if it's a hot spot," Agent Mills said, "We finally found more. If we wipe out this stronghold in Paris we'll be able to out the ones in London and Madrid too."

"Hydra?" Kelly asked.

Turning to face her, she said, "What are you two doing in here?"

"We're your new crew to take down the stronghold," she answered, "How many are in there?"

Chuckling, Agent Mills said, "I'm glad you want to help but this is official SHIELD business. Unless you're an agent, you can't be part of it."

"Except I am now," Kelly said.

She raised an eyebrow and glanced from James back to her. "Since when?" she asked.

"Since about 5 minutes ago when I accepted the offer from Director Fury. Now tell me what I need to know."

"You can't just breeze into a mission. It requires extensive training—"

"Screw the training!" Kelly said, slamming her fist down on the desk, "Fury thought I was ready for this so I'm doing it. I have the Winter Soldier with me. We'll be fine. We're going to stop the bastards who messed with his head and have tried to murder me more than once."

Agent Mills stepped back, surprised. "Ok then, if you think you can. But honestly, this is a big mission. The stronghold is located inside a nightclub called Follies Pigalle in Montmartre. We believe they're hiding a secret lab trying to produce more soldiers like him."

Kelly noticed how she looked at James then back to her. "So we'll get in and shut it down. Piece of cake," she said.

She shook her head, "You're way out of your depth. You're jumping into to the deep end only knowing how to dog paddle."

"It's still swimming," Kelly retorted.

Before Agent Mills could speak again, she turned on her heel. Kelly and James made their way to the closest plane. Once inside, he strapped himself in the driver's seat. She buckled up in the co-pilot spot then said, "You have done this before right?"

Glancing at her he chuckled and nodded. Within moments, he had the engine running and the ground above them disappeared. They saw darkness but still James raised the plane in the air. They turned and flew towards Paris, which would only take them a few hours. Watching the ground fly by, she turned to him and said, "You know I like flying, but being up front here kind of makes me nervous."

James glanced over at her, "Worried I'm not a good pilot?"

Kelly laughed, "I'm sure you are but I guess I never realized just how fast a plane goes, you know?"

"Sounds more like you're nervous about your first mission" he said.

"Hardly," she answered then sighed, "Ok maybe a little. But between you and Director Fury I feel like we can do this. I can do this. And we can stop them from victimizing others. I'm going to find a way to undo it. You're going to be like this forever, no more trigger."

He smiled then turned his focus back towards the airspace in front of him. When they at last came into Paris airspace, James landed the plane at the smaller of the two airports and brought it around to an empty hangar. Together they got out and 'borrowed' a car that was parked in the parking lot. AS they drove she asked, "So what exactly is our plan?"

James chuckled, "You don't already have one?"

Raising her eyebrows then shaking her head, "Well charging in isn't the best. Maybe we split up? I take the bottom you take the top. They hopefully won't recognize me."

"Even if they do, they won't know what you can do," he said.

Kelly smiled. It took a bit to get there but when they finally arrived they parked further down. Paris nightlife was strong and many people were out and about. She secured the knife in her boot and gun in the small of her back. She glanced at him holding his gun in hand and smiled. He's more weapon than any other he could use.

Kelly entered through the front, smiling sweetly at the bouncer who let her through. She looked around at the crowd of people and all those dancing around. She felt a wave of anxiousness wash over her. Oh God. What now? Where are they hiding? What if they're the ones dancing? Kelly's eyes observed all around, looking for anything to hint toward a lead towards a secret place to keep soldiers. Strutting towards the VIP room, she went to head in when a tall and slender blonde haired man stopped her. "Où est-ce que vous allez, mademoiselle?"

Stepping back, she looked up at him wide eyed and blushing. He smiled and said, "American, no?"

"Yeah" she answered, smiling and biting her lip coyly.

"What brings such a lovely girl like you to Paris?" the man asked.

"You're going to laugh," she said, blinking rapidly and smiling, "but love. This is the City of Love isn't it?"

"Yes it is," he said, giving her a look over, "Why don't you join me in the VIP room?"

"I don't even know your name," she said, giggling.

"I am Philippe" he said, offering his hand.

"Kelly," she said, putting her hand in his. Instead of shaking it, Philippe brought it to his lips and gave a soft kiss.

"Enchanté" he said with a grin before leading her inside.

Once inside, Kelly looked about quickly and initially didn't see anything. "Would you like a drink? He asked.

"Sure" she answered, still taking in her surroundings. Just when she thought this room was a loss, she saw it. Hidden in the back, a crack of light came from a wall. Glancing back at Philippe, he held out a drink to her. "I hope you like rum, Kelly" he said.

"I do actually," she said then bumped the glass, spilling all over his shirt, "Oh my god I'm so sorry! I'm such a klutz!"

"It's fine," he said, standing up quickly, "I will be right back. Don't go anywhere."

As soon as he disappeared, Kelly went over to the crack in the wall. Double checking she wasn't being watched, she opened it and snuck through. As she edged in and closed the door, she saw the lab from just beyond the wall. Sticking close to the wall that would only hide her for a few more feet, she only saw one person in a lab coat. Grabbing her gun, she held it to the side then slid closer. Putting it to the back of their head, she said, "Where are your buddies?"

Laughing, the guy turned around before glancing to the side. In the chair, they had James strapped down. "How foolish of you, mademoiselle. Did you not think we expected more of you?" he said.

A hand came on Kelly's shoulder but she flipped the person in front of her and shot them in the shoulder, causing them to cry out in pain. She shot the lab coat in the kneecap, taking him down just as another man came from her side. Giving a hard punch to his face, she pushed him back into the machinery before giving him a quick kick to the chest.

She rushed over to James who sat there unmoving and unblinking. Quickly un-strapping him, she stood and turned just in time for the lab coat to push her into the chair. He flipped the switch just in time as the machine clamped down on her head sent the electrodes into her brain. She let out a scream from the rush of electricity flowing through her, shaking in the chair.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Failed Mission?

Kelly stilled in chair. The lab coat pulled off the head gear as she glanced around, slowly sitting up. The guy smiled before turning to James, who just stood there, watching. "You cannot escape our mission, Sergeant Barnes, much less your girlfriend" he said.

Turning back to face her in the chair, the lab coat and her met eyes. "You are now a member of Hydra and will follow any commands I give," he said, "When I say the word 'vin' you shall immediately cease and desist. Nod if you understand."

Kelly nodded, turning to look vacantly at James before returning her gaze to the man in the lab coat. Suddenly she gave him a swift kick, sending him flying backwards. "Wow, that kind of hurt," she said, shaking her head, "You guys really aren't good with manners."

Standing in disbelief, the man said, "That should've wiped your brain or killed you…"

She grinned then raised her gun, "Guess I'm just special."

"Stop her!" the man yelled and other burst into the room.

Quick as a cat, Kelly elbowed one to the face before throwing him into another. The man in the lab coat tried to disappear but she threw her knife at him. Grunting in pain as it held his hand to the wall, the man flinched when she grabbed him and tossed him in the chair, strapping his arms in. "Party's not over" she said.

Two more men came from behind and Kelly shot one in the shoulder before flipping the other one over her shoulder. As soon as he was on the ground, she gave him a kick to the head, knocking him unconscious. The other one started coming at her again and said, "You think taking on us here with stop us?" he chuckled, "Hail Hydra."

"Oh you'll be hailing in a second" she said, shooting him in the other shoulder. Sticking her thumbs in both bullet wounds, she head butted him and kneed him in the groin. As he crumpled to the floor, she turned to face James, still standing in the same spot. "Kill her!" the lab coat shouted at him.

James drew his knife but Kelly spun and gave him a quick kick to the chest, pushing him back in the wall. "I think I've had about enough of people trying to have you kill me" she said, closing the distance.

Just as he pulled his knife back again, she said, "Coney Island."

He stopped in his tracks and his eyes fluttered back to normal. "Kelly?" he asked.

Smiling, she turned on her heel towards the lab coat who muttered, "That's not possible. I wiped him!"

Standing over him she said, "You don't know me all that well, but I'm pretty good with bringing him out of the haze you like to keep him in. And after last time, I wasn't taking any more chances."

Taking her knife and wiping the blood off of it, Kelly put it to the guy's throat. "Now, unless you want to light up like a Christmas tree I suggest you tell me how I can undo all you've done to him."

"I thought you already did that" he spat.

"Not fully. Tell me," she said but the guy didn't move. Turning towards the switch she said, "Let's see what it does to you."

He sneered, "You'll never get anything from me. Hail Hydra."

She glanced down then back at him, "You know, I think I've been pretty nice up until now. But you see him," she looked to James, who had his gun pointed at the lab coat, before back to him, "He's my boyfriend and you've messed his brain up pretty bad. Normally I'm a pretty nice and caring girl but when it comes to him," she put her hands on each side of the chair, leaning in with a hostile glare, "All bets are off."

The guy swallows, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of them. Without another word Kelly shoved her knife through his foot. The guy grunted in pain but otherwise nothing. Pulling it out, she shoved it through his hand but again nothing. Sighing she ran the blade across his nose. "We could turn you all Phantom of the Opera. You could haunt that Opera house. It's here isn't it?"

When the lab coat gritted his teeth and clamped his lips shut, Kelly glanced at James then back at him. "Well, you asked for it" she said, before flipping the switch.

They guy convulsed for a good few minutes and a few more after she turned it off. Looking at James for a brief second, she went towards the papers on the table nearby. Leafing through the papers, she held one sheet up triumphantly. "What'd you find?" James asked.

"Your cure" she answered, grinning.

"What do I have to do?" he asked.

Face turning somber, she said, "Well, you have to sit in that chair one more time. I have to input a certain thingy here and it should erase what they've done," she walked over to him and held his hands, "There is a catch. They wrote this down but it hasn't been tested. I could kill you."

"You won't," he said before giving her a soft kiss. "I trust you."

He walked over, tossing the body of the lab coat to the floor. He sat down one more time, watching her as she moved forward towards the machine. Kelly input all the information then glanced at him, biting her lip. "You sure about this?" she asked.

"Do it" James said.

Swallowing she adjusted the head gear then flipped the switch. He grunted for a moment or two until she turned it off. He didn't move. "James?" she asked, voice wavering.

He pulled the head gear off before standing up and walking towards her. Kelly watched him close the distance then said, "Well?"

"See if the word works" James said.

"Sputnik" she said.

His lips curled into a smile before picking her up in his arms. "You cured me," he said, twirling her around before letting her feet touch the floor once more, "Thank you."

Kelly just smiled, "Well that's you so far. We have others who need our help."

James nodded and together they were able to bring each and every other soldier into the room, ridding them or the brainwashing. After the last soldier was done, Kelly grabbed the table, breaking off a leg. She swung it like a baseball bat, smashing every monitor and piece of wiring. She stepped on the head piece, crushing it. When they finally made it out the door, light was creeping on the street.

Looking around she turned back to him and said, "We have a day in Paris. What should we do?"

"Anything you want," James said, "You're the hero today. You choose."

They spent the day taking in the sights and walking along the Seine. The last stop was the very famous landmark of the city. Sitting in the café on the second floor of the Eiffel Tower, Kelly glanced over at James. "I can't believe we're here. True there was work to do first but now…" she sighed like a content cat, "Look at that sunset. Have ever seen anything so beautiful?"

"She's sitting across from me," he said, curling his lips into a smile.

Raising an eyebrow she smiled then said, "Couldn't resist being charming, huh?"

"How could I? It just comes naturally," James answered.

The rest of their dinner went quickly. They ate and laughed, enjoying each other's company. After descending the stairs, Kelly turned to him and asked, "So what are we going to do now? Fly back?"

"Not yet," he answered, offering her his arm.

Taking it she smiled and said, "You really are a gentleman. Where have you been all my life?"

"Frozen mostly," he chuckled and she laughed.

Stopping on the Champs de Mars, James turned to face her. "May I have this dance?" he asked.

Giggling she said, "But there's no music."

Grinning and gazing at her face he replied, "Do we need any?"

Smiling Kelly shook her head, taking his hand and slowly swaying to the sounds of silence. Turning about slowly, he even took her hand and turned her about once or twice. Smiling at him she said, "You know, you never told me what you did after dancing…at the end of the night."

James glanced around quickly, ensuring no one would stop him then leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers. They stopped swaying and she wrapped her arms around his neck, gently pulling him closer. When they finally pulled apart, their eyes met. Grinning she asked, "Just how many kisses have you stolen after a dance?"

He chuckled, "More than I can remember."

"I see," Kelly said, "So I'm just another girl you've swept off her feet after a dance huh?"

James smiled at her, staring intensely into her blue orbs. Suddenly he leaned her back, holding onto her with his arm and kissed her again. Pulling her back forward and lifting her off the ground, he said, "You're the only girl I've swept off her feet."

Giving him a soft his as he set her back down, Kelly said, "And why is that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he said, grinning, "I never want you to leave."

Smiling she kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck once more then whispered, "You'll never have to worry about that," Pausing a second she added, "So we should head back but can we do one more thing?"

"Of course" James answered.

Grinning Kelly said, "Good, because I have one more stop in mind."


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35: Coney Island

"This was a bit of a stretch for a stop on the way back," James said as they walked down the boardwalk of Coney Island.

Grinning Kelly looked at him and asked, "But isn't it worth it? We're finally here."

Chuckling he said, "We may be stuck here. I don't think we have enough gas for the way back."

"So we'll get some," she answered, intertwining her fingers with his.

"Airplane fuel isn't something easy to come by" James said, raising an eyebrow.

"We'll find it somewhere," Kelly answered, "They can take it out of my first paycheck if they have to. Now will you please shut up and show me around like you said you would?"

He laughed and led her further down, walking towards the Wonder Wheel. It was the largest Ferris wheel Kelly had ever seen. Tonight it was lit up and she couldn't help but stare in awe. "How come there are some cars on the inside versus some on the outer edge?" she asked.

Smiling James replied, "The ones on the outer edge don't move, the inner ones sway."

"Let's go," she said, eyes bright and grin wide, "I want to ride it."

The wait wasn't long and before they knew it, they were inside a blue and yellow car. Sitting squeezed in, James put his arm around her and smiled. Looking down as they started to move up higher, Kelly saw the large wooden coaster nearby. "I take it that's the Cyclone?" she asked.

"That's the one" he replied.

"That barely does anything. Coasters now have twists, turns, corkscrews, and more. Steve actually threw up from that?" She raised an eyebrow and laughed.

"He used to be smaller," James said, grinning.

"Still," Kelly said, "That's not that bad. I've seen ones way worse," looking around she smiled and turned back to him, "I love it here. Is it a lot like it was?"

"A little," he answered, "Prices went up. I used to be able to get a hot dog for nickel."

She chuckled, "Yeah that's what happens over time. But I still think it's great they've kept stuff from then. It's familiar to you but history coming alive for me."

Leaning over closer Kelly asked, "So how many girls did you take on this?"

James grinned then said, "You're the first."

"Good," she said before leaning into a soft kiss. They both smiled when they pulled away to breathe. The car swayed back and forth, but she barely felt it being so close to him. Before long the ride stopped and they got off. They rode the Cyclone next and Kelly was very proud she didn't throw up. "Point me, Zero Steve," she said giggling.

They walked together some more and came through the midway. All around were different games with various prizes. People were everywhere, enjoying the treats they bought and doling out money to the carnies. James stopped right next to the shooting game. Glancing at her and smiling he said, "I told you I'd win you a bear."

Kelly grinned wide as he took the fake pistol in hand. He aimed at the animal heads that popped out. It came as no surprise he was a crack shot and the bear was in her arms before she knew it. She smiled at him like a kid on Christmas. They walked some more until they came across skee-ball. Handing him her bear she said, "Now it's my turn to win you something."

She got a few in but missed more than she made. After missing quite a few more, Kelly only won him an inflatable guitar. "Well it's better than nothing and for the record I haven't played in forever" she said, chuckling.

They walked along on the boardwalk, looking out at the ocean. They were silent for a bit before Kelly turned to him and said, "I have a little bit of a confession to make."

James turned his head and raised an eyebrow. Biting her lip she continued, "So that paper didn't really tell me your cure, it only mentioned a possibility of it actually working. I took all my knowledge about computers, like removing hardware you don't want, and ran with it."

He nods but says nothing. "You aren't mad?" she asked timidly.

Lips curling into a smile he shook his head. "I'm still here," he said, "Why would I be mad about that?"

"I don't really know" she said, grinning back at him before sighing and taking one more look out at the ocean, "I suppose we have to head back."

He nodded, pulling her close as they walked back towards the car they 'borrowed'.

They made their way back, stopping at an airport for fuel. Kelly lied and said they were on a top secret mission and if they didn't leave immediately they would be killed. The poor attendant at the airport must've thought they were crazy or too scary by half. It wasn't long before they were back underground although they did get one last glimpse of daylight before the ceiling came back overhead. They held their prizes in one arm and each other's hands with the other. Setting it all down inside their room, Kelly sighed and looked around before turning to him, "Home sweet home. Are you tired?"

James shook his head. "Me either," she said, "You mind training a little with me? I promise I'll be gentle."

He chuckled, "Someone's getting a little cocky."

"Maybe," Kelly grinned, "Or maybe I just know I can take you."

Without warning, James charged her but she slipped out of the way just in time. He dropped to the floor and caught her foot, yanking her towards him. Palms to the ground, she pushed herself up, kicking her free leg and spinning. He released her for the moment and she jumped up. "That all you got? Thought you were the Winter soldier?" she teased.

James rushed her again, but this time knew the direction she'd turn and caught her, pinning her back to his chest and holding her arms. She tried to flip him over her head but couldn't. "You're becoming predictable" he said in her ear.

"Not yet," she said before stomping on his foot. He gritted his teeth and loosened his grip just enough for her to wriggle an arm free and elbow him in the gut. He backed up chuckling. This time, Kelly charged James and pinned him against the wall. "Give in yet?" she said, breathing rapidly.

James just grinned and inched his face closer to her. His breath on her lips he said, "You first."

Hooking her fingers in his shirt and pulling him closer, Kelly crushed her lips on his. He wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling every curve meld against his body. Their tongues danced together as she grabbed a fistful of his hair. James lifted her legs up by her knees before turning around and pushing her against the wall. Kelly groaned, letting her head fall back against the wall as gasped for air. James trailed his kisses down her jaw to her neck before grinning up at her.

"I want you" she breathed, pulling his head forward into her embrace once more. The next moment she broke for air, she lifted her shirt over the top of her head before diving back in head first to his kiss. As soon as her feet set down again a few moments later, Kelly's fingers traced the bottom of his shirt and began lifting it. James pulled away for a second and together they lifted off his shirt. She ran her hands across his toned chest, biting her lip and looking up at him with heavy lidded eyes.

They kissed again and she felt his fingers fiddling with her bra. "Here," she giggled and said after a moment or two, "I supposed they're different than they used to be."

Dropping it to the floor, Kelly almost blushed under his gaze. The fire that illuminated in his eyes felt like it transferred to her naked skin. Her breasts weren't large by any means, just small little handfuls but under his gaze and then his touch, they were perfect. Again they kissed, only this time she felt his hands on her back. The fire from his palm and the coolness of the metal sent goose bumps along her flesh. She unbuttoned her pants, letting them drop to the floor. Sliding out of the last piece when they broke for breath, James gulped when he saw her.

Without hesitation or a word, he picked her up, letting her legs wrap around his torso. He carried her to the bed and laid her down, trailing kisses from her mouth to each breast before moving lower and lower. As he reached her abdomen, he stood back up and unbuttoned his own pants. Kelly wore nothing but a grin as he stood before her, like an Adonis. Well, an Adonis with a metal arm.

She leaned forward and beckoned him closer with her finger, pressing their mouths together again. James slowly put his palms on the bed, slowly covering her body with his. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Kelly kissed him, this time trailing kisses of her own but ending up at his ear. Sucking ever so gently on the lobe, she whispered seductively, "Do you want me?"

James groaned before melding his mouth with hers one more time. Suddenly, he found himself underneath her. Kelly grinned down at him and said, "Now maybe the girls in your day just let guys do what they want, but women in this time are so much freer when it comes to this and honestly I can't wait anymore."

Slowly she sunk down on him, both groaning in unison as he entered her. Thrusting her hips forward, Kelly grinned and bit her lip, starting to ride him. James looked up at her, loving her golden waves falling just across her breasts. He twisted his fingers in them, smiling. Her pace started slow but gradually increased. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, crushing their bodies together. "Oh God," she moaned.

James rolled her underneath him, thrusting into her with rapid long thrusts. Her hair spilled across the pillows and he watched as she arched her back into him before crying out in ecstasy. He followed moments after, grunting and panting, falling on top of her. He rolled to the side, allowing her to breath.

After a few moments of letting her breathing slow down, Kelly sat up on her elbows and grinnedat him as she said, "You know, I don't know if I should be grossed out that I had sex with an old man or be impressed he still has the stamina of a young one."

James laughed before slowly sitting up himself. She leaned against his chest and he kissed her forehead. Smiling, she scooted up closer, resting in the crook of his arm and looking up at him. "I knew I was missing something with you," she said, giving him a seductive wink.

James leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. "You'll never miss anything ever again" he said, smiling.

"I better not," Kelly said as she slowly trailed a hand up his chest.

Looking at her, he was silent a few moments then said, "I remember your grandfather."

"What?" she said, eyes blinking.

"He was in the infirmary and I was in there when we first got back from behind enemy lines" James said.

"So you…talked to him?" she asked.

He shook his head, "No I was only in there for a second. But I remember him showing a photo of his wife. She had long blonde hair just like you and beautiful blue eyes."

Kelly blushed, "You're just remembering this?"

"No," he said with a smiled, "I'm just realizing why you've always been able to bring me back from any dark place I find myself."

She nodded as her eyes turned downward, "Because I actually am part of your past."

"No," James said as he lifted her chin, "You're part of my present and future. But that moment when I saw that picture, I didn't know I was looking into the future."

Blushing and smiling she said, "There you go again, being charming."

"Would you want me any other way?" he asked, grinning.

Kelly's lip curled into a wide smile as she laughed then said, "What am I going to do with you Sergeant Barnes?"

THE END


	36. Epilogue Part 1

Epilogue: Part 1

Three months after Paris, Kelly became the most sought after SHIELD operative. Her ability to attain the information SHIELD needed seemingly without difficulty made her as valuable as Agent Romanoff. Each mission completely successfully and efficiently, she found herself traveling more than ever before. She worked with Agent Mills and James but after awhile she found herself mostly on her own, combating HYDRA operatives left and right. But unlike she was led to believe from Director Fury, the job was a little different than she expected after nearly a year of service. Though it should've been more reconnaissance she ended up more deeply involved than she'd liked. It's not just lying to people to get information anymore. This is serious. This last mission had her alone, once again without her favorite metal armed companion. James stayed back at headquarters, providing the needed intel while she was out in the field. It was supposed to be easy mission but when are things ever easy?

A year since she met him, Kelly couldn't stand being apart from James for the lengths she had been lately. It seemed like every time she had a few days with him already she was off again. Finally back at the only place she could call home, she sighed. She walked down the familiar corridor and pressed her hand to the wall, taking a breath and trying to stop it from shaking. Get a grip, Kelly. As the door opened, she found him sitting there with ear buds in as well as a befuddled look on his face. Smiling as she stepped inside, she dropped her bag on the floor and continued sauntering towards him. His eyes registered her movement as he turned his head to see her. His lips curled into a smile and blue eyes sparkled as she leaned over the couch and planted a kiss on him. After he yanked out the ear buds she asked, "Miss me?"

Grinning James pulled her over and onto his lap. Pulling her against his chest, their lips met again with renewed passion. Each minute apart disappeared as it was just them once more. Running her hand through his hair and chuckling in between, after a few seconds she pulled away slowly and said, "I'll take that as a yes."

His eyes drifted across her face before returning to meet hers. "How was Spain?"

Flashes of DeLeon's face flashed in her mind. Swallowing as she slid off to the side of him, she turned her eyes away, "Oh you know, same thing as always. I got the info from the guy and left. It's not like I stopped in Barcelona and got a tan on the beach."

Right as he was about to ask more she glanced down at the MP3 player she smiled, "Although I swear I told you music now is different which is the exact reason for you to not listen to my music…I'm glad you finally found something good. What do you think of the Beatles?"

James shrugged.

Raising an eyebrow, Kelly said, "Don't tell me you're a Stones kind of guy."

This time he raised his eyebrows. "They're another band from the same time period" she said, "It's like a whole big thing. But seriously, how can you not love them? I admit after they started doing drugs it got a little weird but still."

Giving him a quick kiss then standing, she sighed, "Well I'm going to go clean up. I really could use a shower."

Gently taking her hand he said, "You seem a little stressed. Did something happen in Spain?"

"Nope," she said, "It was routine. I told you already."

Standing next to her he said, "I know what you told me but there's something else. I can tell."

"Just drop it, okay?" she said, looking everywhere but at him, "It was just another mission like always."

"Kelly…"

Tearing her hand away from him she shouted, "I don't want to talk about it!"

As soon as the words were out she saw his eyes widen in surprise. "I'm sorry," Kelly said, brushing his lips lightly with hers, "I just need to relax. I don't want to think about work right now. I just want to be here, with you," grinning and fiddling with the collar of his t-shirt she said," Maybe you could come shower with me."

He smiled but as she turned in front of him and walked ahead his lips formed a straight line of concern. She wasn't telling him something and he didn't like it. She's never raised her voice at him like that before. Her hands shook even when she thought he didn't notice, she could barely look at him and she was always looking around, as if someone was right around the corner. What the hell happened in Spain?

Three days passed and although they spent almost every moment with each other he could feel a chill. The next afternoon while Kelly took a nap, James headed down to the boxing ring with his friend.

"So how long's it been Buck?" Steve asked, dodging a hit from his friend in the boxing ring.

"A couple months," James answered, blocking Steve's punch with his metal arm.

"That's good. It's progress. Amazing too because for awhile there both of you kept having nightmares" he said before backing up and grabbing a bottle of water.

Both of them sat down on the bench outside of the ring, taking a quick breather and swig of their water bottles. They both sat leaning forward with their elbows on their knees, panting.

"They never fully go away unless she's here with me" James said, eyes staring off across the room.

From behind, Kelly slowly crept up on them, determined to surprise the two of them. Steve took a drink and said, "She has been gone a lot lately. Guess SHIELD really needs her skills."

James sighed, "Sometimes I think it'd be easier if she was gone all the time."

Kelly stopped abruptly, feeling her heart sink. He doesn't want me around anymore? Slowly she backed away and disappeared from the room.

"C'mon Buck," Steve said, "You can't mean that. "

He shook his head and looked to his friend, "I only meant because I can't stand only being with her a day or so at a time before she's off again. I'm stuck here while she's halfway around the world. Ever since she joined SHIELD I can't help but think I'm losing her. Then these last few days…something happened. She's acting differently."

"How?"

Shrugging James said, "She's always so deep in thought and barely says anything. She sleeps on the edge of the bed, as far away from me as she can," he paused a second then glanced to the floor. "I can't lose her Steve."

After another swig, Steve turned toward him and said, "So do something about it. I know you've been meaning to ask. Why haven't you?"

James smiled and faced his friend, "Not yet. I want it to be the right moment."

"No time like the present Buck," he said, standing, "We'll be back in D.C. tomorrow and they haven't called her in on another mission."

Nudging him one more time Steve said, "But enough of that for now. C'mon old man, you can't be done yet."

Bucky grinned before they both went back in the ring, training some more.

On the other side of SHIELD headquarters, Kelly wiped her eyes one last time before pressing her hand to the door. As it opened, she stepped inside the office and said, "Can I have a word, Director Fury?"

"Of course Agent Olson," he answered as he looked up to face her. "Your work has been astounding as of late, even with the hiccup in Spain. Now what can I do for you?"

"That's why I'm here," she said, "That hiccup has been haunting me since I returned. So, I've decided to leave SHIELD."

He nodded and glanced down, "I guess I should be surprised. I told you that you would mainly be dealing with reconnaissance but unfortunately this one took a different turn," pausing a moment he said, "I don't suppose there is any way I could change your mind?"

Kelly shook her head.

Nodding he said, "Even though I know you to be an asset I know nothing I can say can make you stay. The door is always open if you change your mind. I'm sorry to see you go."

"Thanks, for everything," she said, "Even though it didn't work out I don't regret being here. You did help me realize potential I didn't even know I had."

As she turned to walk back out the door, he asked, "Have you told him yet?"

Biting her lip she glanced back and shook her head.

A few hours later when he finally made it back down towards their room again, James decided he would rather have Kelly get angry with him for bringing up Spain than not say anything. Although his curiosity was peaked, he only wondered for her sake. What could make her act this way? Things had to change and maybe they could even get back to how things were. Pressing his hand to the wall, he smiled. Steve's right. What am I waiting for?

Stepping inside James stopped dead in his tracks. Grabbing his gun from his back, he slowly stepped inside and looked around. Things were missing. Her laptop no longer sat on the table. Her bag wasn't in the room where she set it down. In fact a pattern began to appear. Everything that belonged to Kelly had disappeared. He quickly searched each room but she was nowhere to be found. He called her name and finally stopped at the kitchen counter. Readying himself to storm Fury's office, he glanced down momentarily. There on the counter sat a note. Picking it up, he read:

_James,_

_I never wanted to—_

_I wanted to tell you but…_

_I hope one day you can forgive me…_

I'm sorry.

-Kelly


	37. Epilogue Part 2

Epilogue: Part 2

New York City. Kelly sighed as she looked out the window of her new apartment. It felt nice to finally see light again but at the same time, it felt empty. The place was filled with furniture and yet still felt hollow. On the top of the list of places I never thought I'd be again, this has got to be the first. It'd been a week since she left SHIELD and James. _James_. Just the thought of him made her entire body ache. But his words kept running through her mind. He'd rather have me gone, he said it himself. Well James, you got your wish.

Collapsing in her desk chair, Kelly opened her computer. Just letting the words flow from her fingertips, after a few minutes she stopped. Holding the backspace key, she deleted it all. God why can't I just go back to what I used to be? Normal. Snorting then sighing, she leaned back in the chair. Normal doesn't exist around me anymore. Closing her eyes for a split second, Kelly jerked back when she saw DeLeon's face again. He held up the gun to her head, eyes wide and crazed. Shaking it off, she stood and went to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

As she took a swig, Kelly suddenly heard the creaking of the floorboards outside. Instinctively she grabbed her gun from the drawer and held it up high. Slowly approaching her door, she tilted her head, but only saw a shadow through the crack. Flinging the door open and standing with gun in front, she came face to face to the man she thought she left in Europe.

"James" she said, swallowing and lowering her gun.

James eyes never left hers for a moment. They still sparkled but were bloodshot as he stared at her. He didn't say a word, just rushed in and closed the distance between them in a couple strides. Taking her head in his hands, he pressed his lips to hers. The fire burned her skin immediately and initially she tried to pull back but that metal arm wrapped around and pulled her closer, holding her in place. Finally she felt her body give, melding against his. God I missed this. She felt the fingers from his other hand grip her shoulder. After a few moments, they both pulled their faces back slightly to breathe. Kelly's eyes met his for a moment before looking away. She tried to wriggle away but he didn't let her.

"Can I move?" she chuckled.

"No" he said, "Or you think you can just leave any time."

"James" she said but he silenced her again with his kiss. She wanted to fight it but damn if he didn't know what he was doing. She remembered being right back in the alley the first time he pressed her against the wall. This time he pulled back first, keeping his face close to hers. "Do you have any idea what ran through my head when I found you gone? I thought you dead, kidnapped or worse."

"I'm sorry" she looked away, "I wanted to find the right words but couldn't find any. I'm sure you saw how many things I scratched out on that note" sighing she asked, "How'd you find me? I mean, I'm sure that part wasn't hard but…why are you here?" she swallowed, "I thought it'd be better if I was gone? You said it yourself."

James face dropped, "That's why you left?"

"No" she said, shaking her head, "But it definitely didn't help my decision," She paused a second then looked up at him, "If you didn't want me around anymore why didn't you just say so?"

"I want you around every second," James said, "That's exactly what I was telling Steve. I couldn't handle having you next to me for a few days then disappearing for a week or two. I want things to be like they were."

"Like the cabin" she said.

His lips curled into a slight smile, "Exactly."

Looking away Kelly said, "But they can't be."

"Yes they can," he said, pulling her chin up with his fingertips, "Don't you want it?"

"Of course I do," she answered, "But I'm not about to make you choose between me and your best friend. I quit SHIELD James. I couldn't be there anymore but you, you can. You and Steve finally were back together and I…I couldn't get in the way of that either."

"You think there's even a choice in that?"

"But Steve—"

"Steve and I have been friends for over 90 years. That's not about to change. But you…I can't be without you" James interrupted.

"You say that but I told you I'm not good with relationships. I mean look at what happened with the only one I ever had before you. It's not like I've been that great of a girlfriend to you anyway. I'm barely there and when I am I…I don't know…it's like I don't know how to be what you need anymore."

"You already are how I need you" he said, "How could you think that?"

"Because I'm not who I used to be," Kelly eyes glistened with tears, "You were right about Spain. Something did happen and I'm sorry I chewed your head off for asking about it but I just…It haunts me."

Running a hand through her hair he asked, "Tell me."

"I killed him. DeLeon," she said, squeezing her eyes shut and letting two tears drop down her cheeks. Opening her eyes after a few seconds she said, "I was supposed to be getting information but he caught on. It came down to him versus me. If I didn't shoot he would've so I…did" She swallowed then said, "I still see DeLeon's face every second of everyday and I can't make it stop. I killed him and I can't change that. But you, you finally are at peace with your guilt over the people you've killed. I didn't want to drag you back down."

James grabbed the tops of her arms, shaking her gently, "You think you'd drag me down? You're the reason I was able to bury my guilt in the first place," He paused, staring at her, "Every second I relive everything I did to you," loosening his grip he slid his fingers under her shirt, right on the scar, "I can still see the look in your eyes when I slid the knife in and it kills me. But you helped me put it in the past. Let me do the same for you."

Staring up at him for a few moments she said, "Okay."

After another minutes she asked, "So are you going to let me move then?"

"No" he said, chuckling.

Together they both fell backward onto the couch, James wrapping an arm around her. "Why did you come here, to New York? I thought you told me this place wasn't for you."

Kelly smiled slightly as she looked up at him then said, "How else could I be close to Coney Island?"

James pressed his lips to hers, letting her hair intertwine with his fingers. He pulled back a second, keeping his forehead to hers as he breathed, "You came back to the place, a place you hate, to remember me?"

"Not like I could forget you if I tried," She smiled as she brushed her lips against his again, "That, and all the big publishers are here so I figured why not?"

"Publishers?" he asked.

Grabbing the piece of paper from her pocket, she handed it to him. His eyes scanned it then met hers once more. "They're publishing your book?"

Grinning she said, "Yeah. About damn time too."

"We should celebrate."

"Oh yeah and where do you suggest?"

Together they smiled and said, "Coney Island."

Giggling she said, "I guess I should show you something first…"

He followed her into the bedroom and there on the bed sat the huge teddy bear he won for her. "I call him Bucky" she said, leaning in the doorframe as he turned to face her. He grinned, "Bucky?"

"It's not as tacky on a bear" she said, grinning.

They laughed before he picked her up and kissed her, giving her a little twirl. After she grabbed her keys, Kelly and James headed out the door. Darkness was approaching as the sun began to set. The lights of the Wonder Wheel turned on, shining bright and lighting up the boardwalk.

"Are we going to ride on the inside ones or the outside?" she asked.

"How about the outside ones this time?" he said.

She nodded and they got on. They made conversation and before they knew it, it came time to get out. Only James stopped her. "One more time" he said.

After about 3 more time around, Kelly said, "Are we going to ride this all night? If you think this is the machine to get me to throw up like Steve you're sadly mistaken."

James chuckled slightly, looking out to see they'd almost reached the very top again.

Squeezing his hand she said, "So why are we riding this over and over?"

"I'm just trying to get a little courage," he answered.

Kelly laughed, "Like you need any. You're the Winter Soldier. What do you need if for anyway?"

Right as they reached the top, James pulled a small ring out of his pocket, smiling at her. "For this" he answered.

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide in surprise. Glancing from the ring back to him, her she felt the reddening of her cheeks. Taking her hand in his, he smiled.

"I've known since the moment I met you I couldn't let you go. Destiny, chance, call it whatever you like. It doesn't matter to me. I only know I never want to spend one moment without you again. I love you, Kelly Olson," he said, swallowing and glancing down for a moment before his sparkling blue orbs met hers once more as he said, "Will you marry me?"

Kelly smiled and nodded frantically as she said, "Yes. Of course yes."

James smile was blinding as he slid the simple band with one diamond on her finger. Their lips met again. When they finally pulled away for air she said, "Are you sure you can handle a wife who can kick your butt?"

"Still cocky" he chuckled.

Kelly grinned, "Would you want me any other way?"

Neither of them said another word, just pressed their lips together once more.


End file.
